"My neighbour has a girlfriend but still sleeps with me every time”

He gets angry when he sees any man coming around me and we keep quarrelling because of his girlfriend.


Hi Bukky,

I came across this guy that happened to be my neighbour and we became intimate after few months. We packed into the compound but the fact remains that he has a girlfriend whom he started dating the year we moved in. She comes once a week to visit but he doesn't want the lady know about us.

He sleeps mostly in my room and we share a lot in common. What bothers me most is that he won't let go despite the fact I see he's attached so much importance to the lady. He still tells me that he loves me and has a connection with me, he says he thinks about me even when his girlfriend comes around, that he can't just let go easily and that it hurts him whenever I want to break off.

He gets angry when he sees any man coming around me and we keep quarrelling because of his girlfriend.

Pls Bukky I really need to break off from this guy because I feel he is gaining things from me and he is also using me. Could it be that he truly loves me?



Hello Stephanie,

Thanks for sharing this delicate issue with me.

From your letter, it seems like you are 'the other woman' in this triangle.

Truth be told, there's simply no relationship between you and this guy other than the role you play  - that's being his sleeping partner. He is simply cheating on his girlfriend with you.

Your guy is trying to play safe by keeping both of you with him, but since you aren't satisfied with the arrangement, it's better to walk out of the 'relationship' while you still can.

He has to define who you are to him and that means choosing  between his current girlfriend and you. If he can't make up his mind then you have to make up your mind and take a long walk out of his life.

It would be hard at first to get over him because of what you both shared, all that matters is putting your past behind you and moving on.

I wish you all the best dear.


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