"I want friendship with my ex but I'm scared I'll fall back in love"

Dear Bukky,

After we both broke up things became ugly between us.

We started arguing about everything, we couldn't chat calmly for at least five minutes without an argument.

It came to a point we couldn't stand each other anymore so I cut off contact with him totally to heal myself and to also move on.

But later he contacted me and asked that we forgive each other. I don't know what made him take that decision.

Now we're good but we make sure not to talk about the past though I would like to know what made him seek for peace with me

I don't know if he loves me and I’m scared my love for him will rekindle though I think I may have moved on.

I don't want a relationship with him anymore but friendship and I don't want any relationship that is one sided like how it was previously.

What do I do to keep my heart from betraying me since I don't want a relationship with this guy?

I only want to be a friend to him especially one he can count on._____________________

Hi reader,

Yes, you moved on, but apparently you still have feelings hidden somewhere in your heart for him. And that is why I think you cannot be friends with him the way you want.

How do you say you don’t want to fall in love with him again, but you want to remain a friend so close that he can count on?

That’s not advisable. If you are seeking to move on completely, you can’t do that. It’s like oiling up your whole body with fuel and playing close to fire – you will almost certainly get burnt.

You need to move away from him if you intend to really move on. Opening an avenue for him to have deep conversations with you or other things that friends do won’t work to help you achieve the goal of not falling back in love with him.

You need to back off, and shut him off. Stay civil, be polite to him just as you are with every other random person, but know where to draw the line.

You can’t keep that kind of deep friendship with him if you intend to not fall in love with him again. You cannot eat your cake and have it._______________

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