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Relationship Talk "I feel this girl used me, what can I do as payback?"

I lost my job. She suddenly changed towards me and threatened to end what we shared.

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Relationship Talk


Dear Bukky,

I met this girl on Facebook while I was in university through a friend. We became friends and very close but we hadn't seen each other.

After graduating from university, I fixed up my NYSC posting to Port Harcourt just to see her. Unfortunately, she got admission then to Unical.

So I wasn't able to see her much. I got into a relationship during NYSC with a corp member but it didn't last for so long because she cheated on me. So I later thought about her (the lady I met on Facebook) and we got talking again.

She came into Port Harcourt. I told her all I went through. We became close and I asked her out. She told me she was in a relationship that she was enduring.

We were not going to work out at the time, so I had to be patient. When she finally broke up with her boyfriend, I was there to console her. I gave her time to heal...  I asked her out again.

She said we should be close friends, I agreed but we started doing things people in a relationship do.

She was the first girl I actually had sex with. But unfortunately, it was a long distance relationship. After my NYSC, I went back to Lagos. She was in Calabar. I had to do some frequent traveling to see her even when I was broke I saved up just to see her.

To cut the long story short. I told her I’d be patient till she became fully ready to date. This happened around 2013/2014. I waited and in 2015 I lost my job.

She suddenly changed towards me and threatened to end what we shared. Right now I feel like I was used and dumped.

Because she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. What should I do?

The choice you need to make is pretty obvious. Get yourself a new job, and move on with your life.

Travails and difficult situations are best at showing who our real friends are. And not just friends, but everyone’s true character.

I feel this case is not so difficult, really. To start with, you both were never in a relationship so getting yourself to move on should not be all that hard.

And again, I’d rather concentrate all my efforts on getting a new and better job instead of worrying about a girl that does not want to be with me.

Besides, if you both enjoyed the sex and other moments you had, I don’t think you should be referring to it as being ‘used and dumped.’

You both had a run, and now it seems to be over.

Just let it go.

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng,  and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

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