Pulse.ng logo

Relationship Talk "He's too shy to ask me out, should I walk away or do the asking myself?"

  • Published:
Relationship Talk play

Relationship Talk


Hello Bukky,

So I met this guy about three months ago and we have grown close over time.

Somewhere along the line we grew so close that we call each other every day, tell each other everything, go on dates and basically do everything that a couple does- we have even made out heavily on a number of occasions [I guess that is inevitable if you see someone or hear their voice almost everyday]. We have however never had sex, though I fear that might happen before the end of the year.

That's beside the point anyway. My question has to do with defining the relationship.

I mean, it's obvious we have chemistry, I know he likes me, I like him too and we look good together, everyone says it, and really, it's very obvious.

He has however not asked me out, and though sometimes he gets all emotional and stares at me like he wants to say something, he manages not to say it till the moment passes.

I think he's just really shy and all. I really like him, though and I would love us to be an item.

It's not about the money because he's not even that rich and I have a job of my own too, earning the same amount as him, so it's not about money. I just love him for who he is.

He makes me smile, does the right things, says the right things and basically knows how to make me feel the way I want a man to always make me feel.

Should I ask him to be my boyfriend, seeing that he is actually not all that forthcoming about it.

Please advise me, do you think it's a good idea to ask him out?



To me, this is pretty straightforward, but it could be because I'm looking and judging without sentiment here.

Many people believe that if a man loves a woman, he will somehow find himself saying it, no matter how shy or clumsy he is.

However, experience has shown that some men never get round to expressing these emotions and need help from the woman, in the sense that the woman needs to meet them halfway.

Furthermore, actions have always been the better judge of intentions than words.

So, if his actions point towards a need to have you in his life, which I think they do, then I'd ask him to be my man if I were you.

If you are however scared that you might have read his actions wrong, then I suggest you look for a way to egg him on, you know, lead him into the conversation.

Ask him where he thinks you are headed, does he just stick around for the kisses and smooches and the eventual sex, or he's actually investing himself in you with the hope of building a relationship with you?

That's going to put him on the spot but you have to know already. Three months is quite long for anyone to be in darkness.

Either you ask him out, or you ask him to tell you what he actually wants from you.

I hereby pass the ball back into your court, and wish you the best.


Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family? Send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng

Don't be left out, stay updated on relationship tips and advice.

Yours truly!

Do you ever witness news or have a story that should be featured on Pulse Nigeria?
Submit your stories, pictures and videos to us now via WhatsApp: +2349055172167, Social Media @pulsenigeria247: #PulseEyewitness & DM or Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng. More information here.