“He’s says he’s tired of his marriage and wants to date me”

oge okonkwo

February 24, 2016 4:06 PM

He also told me that if I continue refusing him that he will look for another lady willing to stay with him because he needs another woman in his life

Hi Bukky,

I need your advice on this and I hope I'm able to communicate my message well enough! There's this guy in my office we've been working together for like 3 years but by the middle of last year he started asking me out and I refused because he is married.

We get to see ourselves everyday because we work in the same office which creates an opportunity for him to talk to me. Four months later, I noticed we became very close as a result of the things he told me about his marital life that it's been hell for him and that he regretted marrying his wife.

Now we are so close to each other and he tells me everyday that he loves me, but I don't want him to leave his wife and two kids, he also told me that if I continue refusing him that he will look for another lady willing to stay with him because he needs another woman in his life and I don't want that for him.

He also told me that one day he will leave his wife and I have been pleading with him not to because he listens to me.

What do you think I should do?

Rose.

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Hello Rose,

Sometimes it's hard to read between the lines when you are being ruled by emotions. Let me ask you these questions, do you think he's being truthful about the problems in his home or he's just fabricating things just to get you into bed with him?

Do you think dating him would save his marriage? If he loves you as much as you say he does, why does he threaten to find another woman who'll 'fill' the position as his girlfriend?

If you can answer these questions honestly, then you know the next steps to take. It may be hard to untangle emotions, but try as much as possible to do it.

Have a discussion with his as a friend, tell him to try talking to his wife about their marital issues rather than making her look like a bad person in your presence. Tell him to also put his two kids into consideration and rebuild the relationship they once had instead of looking for comfort from another source.

If you really want to save his marriage, then make him understand that cheating on his wife isn't the best option. Try to minimize constant contact with him if it's necessary, it'll help you think clearly when making your decision.

I wish you all the best.

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Yours truly!

oge okonkwo