"He has refused to forgive me because I lied, please help"

Dear Bukky,

I’m sending this from Ikeja, Lagos.

I’m in a relationship with this guy whom I love so much and he loves me as much as I love him. Last week, I tried testing him by sending him a text, pretending it was from some lady in his Church who would like to date him.

He found out I was the one. And when he asked me, I denied it. He got very upset. I sent him text messages apologizing, but he has refused to reply.

I asked him to tell me where I stand but he has also refused to give me an answer. Now, I’m at a cross road because I don't know if the relationship is still on or not.

For someone who claims to love me but can't forgive me, does he really love me at all?

I am beginning to doubt his love for me. I am wondering if I should just take a walk since I have tried my best to sort things out but he is not helping._________________

Hi reader,

Your behaviour would be explainable/rational/logical if you had reason to suspect him for cheating on you.

However, if there has been nothing to suggest that he might be cheating on you, that message you sent only just shows how distrustful of him you are.

And then he asks and you denied… that’s two painful strikes on him. I think he has every right to be upset and angry for these things.

True, you have apologized and all, but you need to know he needs as much time as possible to consider where he stands with you, to gather his thoughts and come to a conclusion.

You say you are beginning to doubt his love for you, who knows, maybe he feels his heart is no longer in the right hands or maybe he no longer feels good with you.

These are certainly feelings you bred in him with those two actions of yours.

Nonetheless, I agree that relationships are about forgiveness and being in a limbo for too long can actually hurt real bad.

So I suggest you reach out to him again, ask for an explanation. Is he in, is he out? And I think you should be ready to respect his decision on that.

You need to hear from him before deciding to move on with your life. You need this closure.___________________

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