#PulseFirstLove is a weekly series that captures the emotions people felt, and the motions they went through the first time they tried being in a relationship.
What’s the weirdest reason you’ve dumped someone for? The subject of today’s #PulseFirstLove says getting into an accident after visiting her first boyfriend spooked her so badly that she checked out of the relationship mentally. Eventually she ghosted on him, leading to his 5-year-long search for closure... one she never gave him.
When was the first time you had a crush on anyone?
I was in Primary 4 I think. The boy in question was not even in my school. But he was my neighbour in the estate I lived in. I was the only one who liked him actually. I and my friends all liked him. He was a cool kind, one of the coolest kids in my quarters then. Went to one of the best schools around, dressed really nicely, in Primary six… it was really just easy to like him to be honest. And I am not the only one who liked him to be honest. But he disappeared to boarding school and that was how that was how that one ended. He’s not even fine anymore now. Lol.
How about the first ever time someone had a crush on you?
I think this happened in JSS2. I was the smallest in my class and anytime anyone tried to bully me, he’d fight them off for me. And best believe that that was a lot of times because even though I was little, I had a loudmouth. So him being a very big kid - he was about 5”11 at the time - he came to my rescue so often that people started to notice and make comments about us being a couple. But nothing came out of that either. I left the school in JSS3.
How do you feel about the idea of feeling a sentimental attachment to your first love?
Well, I feel no such thing personally. It’s all just memories for me. You know, those were my young and ignorant days. But nothing more than that. When I move on from someone, I move. Legit, I don’t even feel anything whatsoever. It just dies.
Tell me about your first love
There was this guy who was in like SS1 when I was in JSS3 or so. He was so fine that even SS3 girls had eyes for him. He also used to breakdance so I had a huge crush on him but of course, I stood no chance. Then I left the school and life moved on. But sometime after I gained admission to uni, I stumbled on him on Facebook. You know, mutual friends and stuff. So I requested, he accepted and I was literally jumping for joy. I was so glad to reconnect with him again. For context, I left the school in 2005 and we reconnected in 2010. Anyway, he asked me out after a while and we started dating. But we weren’t seeing each other from when we found each other on Facebook up till four months or so - a whole semester. After that semester though, we met, spoke and you know, it was just so beautiful.
I have questions but top on my mind now is: how did it feel being in a long distance relationship for the very first time?
So being my first relationship, I didn’t even know what to expect. I had nothing to compare it to. I didn’t even know if we were meant to be close, I didn’t know anything. How old was I? 17. And this was the first time I’m doing this relationship thing. This guy was calling,we were speaking regularly, being sweet and all. That was actually enough for me. I could have stayed there in that school without seeing for one year and I wouldn’t have minded. We were talking, chatting. That was enough. So long distance or not, what we had then was satisfactory for me. Very very satisfactory.
What were your most memorable moments together?
Let me see… let me see… [long laughter] So I remember the first time we met. He took me out -I think to Mr. Biggs - and we kissed. It was very nice.
Then I went to see him again and of course, he didn’t have a car and he had to find me a bike back home. On my way home though, a police van hit my bike and threw both the rider and me to the ground. Thankfully, there were guys in a basketball court close by who quickly came around to help. They picked my phone, my bag and everything. Apparently, the police guys robbed my bike man. They picked his phone and his wallet and the guy was just there wailing while I was rushed to a clinic. So I was like: could this be a bad sign that I went visiting this guy and I had an accident for the very first time in my life. So after I left the clinic, I stopped speaking with him. You know, bad omen and stuff. LOL. That was crazy. I actually still have bruises from that accident.
Sorry about that.
Tell me how you guys broke up
Thinking about it, we never officially broke up. We made up after that accident I had. But then I went back to school and that was it. The thing just died a natural death. But that’s on brand for me sha. I don’t find it difficult moving on from people and things.
Did you guys ever get closure though?
He kept trying to get back to me for the longest time… for about 5 years actually… but hey… I moved on already and forgot him. I mean, I’ve wondered a few times what happened to the affection I had for this person before and in all honesty, I think I grew out of his league. You know, he was no longer my type. But I couldn’t bring myself to have that conversation with him so I just didn’t bother.
Did this relationship teach you anything that’s stayed with you till date
Nope. Nothing whatsoever. It was all child’s play in my opinion.
What’s your relationship life like these days
Ah. Which kine wahala be this now? LOL.
LMAO. Are you part of the ‘God When?’ gang?
My love life is just non-existent really. So yeah, I’d say I’m part of the ‘God When?’ gang.
There's more where this came from. Get all First Love Stories here.