Pulse First Love: Dealing with the death of a soulmate at 15

'If he hadn't passed, maybe we'd still be together.'

Pulse First Love [15]

#PulseFirstLove is a weekly series that captures the emotions people felt, and the motions they went through the first time they tried love and relationship.

Today’s #PulseFirstLove is tinged with a bit of sadness and a lot of what could have been. Our subject’s story is a strong reminder of life’s unpredictability, time’s ability to heal and love’s restorative powers. This #PulseFirstLove edition is absolutely worth a read.

Are you currently dating anyone?

Yeah. Engaged to be married as a matter of fact.

Oh wow. Love to see it. Congrats.

[Laughter] Thank you so much.

So how long has this relationship been on for?

Well, we met about 2 years ago and it was instant flames. We have been inseparable ever since.

Another thing I love to see

Again, thanks.

Let’s track back. Tell me about the first time you loved anyone

My parents obviously [Laughs]. Don’t mind me. I was just being funny. Actually, the first time I loved anyone, and this might sound a little ridiculous… I was like 11 years old, in JSS2.


Yeah. At the time sha, it was more of an unexplainable feeling, if you know what I mean. I knew I liked the boy, and even though I would be mean to him occasionally, like frowning when he spoke with me or whenever anything brought us together in the class, I was always feeling warm and fuzzy inside. I mean, it took me actually growing up a bit and processing it before it clicked that that was love. I loved the mumu boy. Lol. I shouldn’t speak evil of the dead sha. But I guess I can be pardoned because I said that in an endearing manner.

Errr. He’s… dead now?

Yeah. So sad. He died when we were in SS2. We were on holiday, he fell sick and died. That was what we were told in school.


Very very. And as you might expect of a situation like that where a very young person dies, there were quite a number of ridiculous rumours. Some said it was his village people, some said his parents did something something. It was wild back then sha.

I can imagine. How did you feel about it at the time?

Sad. Very very sad. Mind you, I was what, maybe 14 or 15 at this time and my understanding of life and its intricacies was not as keen as it is now. But even then, I cried. I was genuinely hurt. Because I knew what it meant to be dead. You know, you wouldn’t be seeing the person again. The thought of not seeing him again was painful and I think that was what I cried for more, than the actual thought of him dying. I don’t know if that even makes sense. LOL.

I think it does. I’m so sorry you went through that

Yeah. Thanks. It’s crazy. We were literally just growing up. At the time we were in SS2, I was not mean to him as much anymore. Not like we were together like that but we clearly liked each other, and I was already cool with the idea. I used to get him stuff, sometimes I'd give him my lunch because he was such a glutton. LOL and I didn’t use to eat that much. I still don’t. But you know teenage boys now, they eat a lot. So I would give him my lunch sometimes. I used to really dress nicely, pay attention to my appearance because of him and he used to look out for me. I also used to get jealous when I saw other girls trying to play with him. LMAO. Only God knows what could have happened if he hadn't passed.

What do you think would have happened?

Well, there’s no way to be sure but we would maybe have dated, fooled around a bit. Maybe we wouldn’t be together till now, maybe we would. Life’s funny like that but since we already lost him, there’s really no way to know. You know what’s funny?

Tell me

I think he was one of my soulmates. You know as humans we can have more than one soulmate in a lifetime, right?


Exactly. I like to think he was one of mine. And if we had had more time together, I probably would have found out how far we’d have gone together.

That’s deep

I know right. Anytime I hear of anyone’s death, I remember that boy’s death and remind myself to love deeply and let those I love know that I love them so much. It’s a lesson ingrained in my mind. It could be a struggle to be vocal about one’s love most of the time, but death has a way of reminding you of what matters and what’s priority in the grand scheme of things.

Lol. You seem to be answering all my questions before I get to them

Oh really. So sorry

Nah. It’s fine. I’m enjoying the conversation. It’s totally different from all others I’ve had.

I can imagine that.

So it’s safe to say that life’s blessed you with another soulmate

Yeah. That’s life for you. Wounds close, we heal and move on. Life continues. And I am not even saying this only in the context of the story I just shared with you. It’s like a thing with life in general.

I think I’m done here. Is there something you’d love me to ask that I didn’t?

Not really. I might just reiterate the part of loving deeply and being vocal about it. I’m still very young and I hope to live long, God willing. Until my last day, I think it’s something that I’ll be reminding myself of, a standard I’d be living by.


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