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Relationship Talk With Bukky My husband has become really bad after just 8 years of marriage

He starves me of sex and never notices me no matter how good I look. We are just like flat mates, no intimacy.

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My husband has become really bad after just 8 years of marriage play

My husband has become really bad after just 8 years of marriage


Dear Bukky,

I have been married to my husband for 8 years now and prior to 2015 we have had a good relationship. But I started noticing some changes in him since 2015, he keeps friends I don't know, late nights, picks fight with me over little things, spends more time outside than at home and rarely picks my calls or switches off his phone, detests my presence around him and guards his phone jealously.

He starves me of sex and does not even take notice of me as a woman no matter how much effort I put into my appearance and looks. We are just like flat mates, no intimacy.

On several confrontations, he denies not having a relationship outside. Is it possible for a man who was once sexually active to go so numb and still claim he is not having sex/relationship outside. I am just so confused since I do not have any tangible evidence to nail him to infidelity just my feelings and insinuations.
Dear reader,

With the situation of your marriage as explained in your mail, it is difficult to say he’s not cheating on you. There is  a possibility that he is not, but it really does sound and feel so minute.

ALSO READ: My husband doesn't want sex with me; could he be cheating?

Having said that, I commend your calmness and decision to get concrete evidence as opposed to doing something rash without facts to back it up.

At this stage it’s not wrong to become really observant and watchful. Three years is such a long time to suffer the frustrations I am quite certain you’d be facing in the marriage. If you can find and afford a private investigator [do we even have people who offer such services in Nigeria?], please hire one.

Whether or not you hire an investigator or use another means to find out what the problem is, just make sure to be discreet and careful about it. You don’t want to be made before you get the incriminating evidence you seek.
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