My girlfriend lives with another guy against my wish

Relationship Talk With Bukky: My girlfriend lives with another guy against my wish

Bukky Sanni

January 17, 2019 12:23 PM

Can this relationship even be salvaged at this point?

Stock picture of a dejected young man [Source: iStockPhotos]

I love my girlfriend very much and I still do but we are in a long distance relationship. She is in Kaduna while I am in Ibadan where we are both serving Nigeria respectively.

Before she travelled, I went to Akure. I spent two days there. So I took her out on a date and I tried to propose to her but she refused my proposal. She said we should not rush it. I didn't really bother about it.

But then she told me that she is staying in a male friend’s house on the second day of our date. I told her not to stay in a guy’s house that it is dangerous. She said nothing will happen.

She has the option of staying at the corpers’ lodge provided by the school she was posted to, she also has the option of staying with a close friend of hers who stays in Kaduna but she has refused to stay at either, saying that the former is inconvenient and the latter, too far from her PPA.

I was not happy with her decision and I couldn't hide my feelings so I kept on telling her that I am not happy about it but she said I am disturbing her, and that that I did not even ask about her welfare. I didn't call her for about two days because I was feeling bad about the decision she made. She called me the third day to ask for recharge card.

Angrily, I replied her, "why do uyou only remember to call me when you need something from me?"

That sentence caused her to tell me to never call her again. When I called her on Whatsapp, she didn't pick my call but she only manages to reply my chat. She said I shouldn't call her again that I should just let her be...

So I need you to help me understand what’s happening. Is this something that can be solved with communication, maybe?

_________

Dear reader.

I wouldn’t blame you for being uncomfortable with your babe sleeping in another man’s house for that long. Cohabiting with someone else is not a good idea when you are in a relationship and by constantly reminding her, I think you are not at fault for that.

Having said that, I need to know, what happened after your proposal? Did you really ask for her reasons for saying no? I think you may have to revisit that conversation too. You need to know if she is still invested in the relationship as you are. Her actions could be a manifestation of her mind concerning the relationship. If she is no longer interested, of course that could be the reason why she would have no qualms staying with another man. It could also explain why she’s not making any effort to take your views to consideration.

You may have to also apologise for your statement. Tell her it was said out of frustration and that you really did not mean it. Apologise for your own mistakes but also ensure to have the important conversations, too, so you don’t stay there wasting your time when her mind is already off the the whole thing.

I wish you the best.

__________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues? Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng, and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it? A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

Bukky Sanni