My girlfriend cheated on me; things are no longer the same

Dear Bukky,

I have been with my girlfriend for two years- throughout her 100 and 200 levels in the university - before I went for service.

When I got home after service, I stayed a week with her before she told me that she needs space, that she is not that into the relationship anymore. Since then I have not been myself.

I have not been pestering her around, neither have I been checking on her. I have made sure that she has all the space she craves – and that’s how I have always been even before she asked for some more space.

I persuaded her to tell me what the problem is and she confessed to me that she cheated on me in December before I returned from NYSC but she has nothing to do with the person anymore. She also says that she never expected it, that it just happened.

Right there and then, I forgave her for everything that has happened but she still keeps demanding space. When I went back to see her again, she told me that she doesn't need space anymore and that she wants to be there for me.

But her attitude is not encouraging anymore. I don't know what to do._________________

Dear reader,

Give it time. It’s going to take a bit of time for the guilt, shame and embarrassment to fade out and you’d need to ease her through the process.

Yes, you are the one that has been wronged by her cheating; but then, you chose to forgive her and I think it is your responsibility to show her that you have truly forgiven her by continually pulling her in with affectionate acts. Till the guilt goes away, you’ll need to be the hand that reaches out and the soothing voice of forgiveness that help restore her to the freedom she once had with you.

It is normal for her to be withdrawn following what happened, if you say you have forgiven her now, it is your responsibility to pull her back into the familiar warmth of the relationship.________________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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