My girlfriend makes me feel like trash all the time but I still love so much

I am dating a lady I met last year, with whom I had a love at first sight experience. She works with a bank and I love her so much to the point of not even checking out other women.

I always try to show her how much I love her by making sure she is happy. Even when she starts the trouble, I would always still try to talk to her so peace will always reign but since last month I started to notice some serious changes in our relationship.

She wouldn't text me if I didn’t do so first. We could be together for a week and she wouldn't even come around to play or kiss me if I do not make the first move to do so. Most times when I do, she pushes me out. Recently I asked her why she was giving me this kind of attitude and she said it was because of how busy at work she was.

Truth, however is that, after returning from work, she’s always with her phone, using Instagram or Facebook and that’s what she’d be on for hours without even minding that I am there. I complained to her elder sister who promised to speak with her but regardless, nothing changed.

One faithful day I was helping her out with the house chores and cooking. After everything we decided to rest because she was to leave for Lagos two days from that time for training. When I woke her for dinner, she asked me to help her serve the food that she is tired. I did that and after the meal, she went for her phone at 19.56 until 20:36.

I called her and said please if you press and press your phone, remember that I’m here with you, to which she responded that I should leave her alone. She kept playing with her phone from that time till 21:40.

After a long time of being ignored, I got angry and told her that what was she was doing was wrong and unfair. We don't have all the time in the world with each other, but the little one we have, she spends it on the phone.

She walked out on me and went straight into the sitting room where I went and told her that if I was pressing my phone the way she did, our relationship wouldn't have gotten to the level it got to. Any time I was with her, I respected her presence; I didn’t chat or do those things she was doing to me.

She lost it at that point and began to shout and say she didn’t care about all that. She added that if wasn’t OK with what she was doing, I should get out. According to her, I was only seeking too much attention.

That was not the first time she has raised her voice on me but I have never ever done so since I met her. I can’t even imagine myself using the littlest word of annoyance on her. I love her so much but this constant attitude of her making feel like trash is killing me.

Please what do I do?_____________

Dear reader,

In what is a totally unrelated issue to what you asked, I feel the need to mention it to you that contrary to what you wrote in your email, when you do anything menial in your house, you are not helping your girlfriend. You did not help her cook when you both will eat the food. You did not help her do the dishes when it is the both of you who used it. You simply did chores. It would benefit you just as much as it would benefit her, so you couldn’t have done it for her.

I just felt the need to quickly correct that notion.

Having said that, I think you do not need to put up with that girlfriend more than you already have. What’s the point of being with someone if all they are going to do is constantly put you down and make you feel like trash?

I like that you have communicated with her, and even tried to get an outsider to help put things in order. You can’t be said to have made no efforts with all that has been said and done.

If she isn’t willing to change and give you the same positive energy you give her in the relationship, maybe it’s time to leave her be and move on to peace of mind.

I understand that you love her but love could be misleading sometimes. If the effort is not coming back to you in the great measures that you have given, then it makes no sense to keep investing, pouring yourself into the relationship.

No one deserves to be treated like trash, not least from someone who is supposed to be their greatest source of good vibes._____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

Note; the chances of getting a quick response reduces if the text in your email has a lot of abbreviations. So, please write as properly as possible.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!