Today’s #PulseFirstLove subject shares a familiar and relatable tale; centered around an old flame that refuses to burn out.
When was the first time you fell in love?
2011. LMAO. I feel like my affairs are about to be put under a microscope.
Well. Not really. It’ll be fun and you don’t have to answer questions you’re not comfortable with.
True sha. There’s that.
Exactly. Back to you falling in love for the first time
Yeah. I met her when I was preparing to write JAMB. We were in this pre-exam class together. You know JAMB classes nau. That was where we met. Quiet, pretty thing who didn’t speak unless someone spoke to her. She’s very light skinned sha. She wasn’t hard to miss.
So that was what attracted you to her?
Not exactly. Her being the fairest in the class made her conspicuous but sometimes it stops there. But she’s actually fine. Pink lips, clear skin and all that. That was the attraction. Who no like better thing?
You can say that again. How did that go?
Hmmm. Na long story o. We are still on it. Somehow sha. Like, we never really ended stuff.
Ok. Hold that thought for a bit. Tell me about the first time you ‘toasted’ a babe
It was this same babe
How old were you then?
No one before her?
I’d had sex a couple of times but all that didn’t need toasting and the strategic planning and effort I put into this babe. That was the first time I actually thought of what to say. Rehearse and even ask my guys for input. Boys don tey for this game.
Did she make it tough for you?
Interestingly, no. She was just smiling throughout the rubbish scoping I was dropping for her. It was after the final class of the JAMB tutorials. We went for one last revision on the week before the exam and me, na toast I go toast babe.
E for energy
Shebi. So, yeah, it was easy.
So y’all dated?
It started with sex really. Apparently her folks are hardly around during the day. She had one brother who loved to be outdoors and with his friends so much. She lived few streets away from the lesson, where I lived was just a bus away. We linked up a lot while waiting for admissions. Sex, few cheap dates with money I taxed my mother for and change I stole from my dad’s pockets plus small hold-body money they used to give me. LOL.Crazy times.
I guess y’all gained admission and things changed?
Ah. Big change. This babe started dating someone else almost immediately when she entered school. I didn’t even see that coming but she still used to come and visit me in my own school.
Err. Make it make sense
She said she met someone she liked, and because being separated for four years of Uni was always going to be difficult, she was preparing for our eventual breakup by already replacing me ahead.
Well, it is what it is.
How did you take the breakup?
Pretty well. She wanted us to stay friends and I said ‘cool.’ E pain me small actually but a part of me also felt relieved that I could explore university as a single guy and not feel guilty for anything I decide to do with other babes.
Look at that. What’s the best thing you remember about your time together?
The friendship. It’s so amazing. Like, we’re real friends. It’s almost as if it became even stronger after we broke up. She’s a real one.
A relationship lesson you took from being with her?
I think the friendship part is the most obvious one. You can’t beat it. And it’s super dope when you have it. People who have genuine friendship in their relationship never fall out of love in my opinion.
You guys still close?
Yeah. And it’s a little complicated.
So we’ve been having sex on and off for as long as I can remember. Started shortly after we broke up. She said she wanted to come visit me and one thing led to another. Since then, our friendship has been laced with that benefits part.
Yeah. Thing is; we keep coming back to each other. Once our relationships fail, we are there to comfort and stand in for each other again. And then someone else comes along and we drift apart again.
How many relationships has she been with after you?
Nothing happens when one or both of you are dating other people?
I was afraid you’d ask that. Well, it’s been unavoidable. So yes, we’ve both cheated on our partners with each other on few occasions. And the crazy thing is: we don’t introduce each other to our partners. They know about us but they never know how close we are or how much history we have.
Can I ask how that works?
I guess we have an understanding. We are private and very lowkey. We don’t post each other, we don’t get involved or get jealous.
And you’d be very discreet to pull this off, I presume.
Exactly. Very. Not proud of some of my actions but it is what it is
No partner has ever suspected or anything?
It’s not like we are sleeping with each other every weekend now. Or that we are calling every time. Maybe when we are both single sha. But when we are dating, we respect each other’s distance and private lives.
Obvious question: but why not kuku date each other?
You know I have asked myself this question again and again.
My conclusion is that; it's better this way. I don’t know why and I can’t explain it but I just feel this is better. Why disrupt a formula that works?
Lol. She feels this way too?
We somehow always avoid this gist. We’ve never had the conversation.
How long do you think this will last for?
Actually I’m afraid of the answer to that. Sometimes I fear we will be cheating on our spouses when we marry. The thought crosses my mind a lot and you know what’s worse?
The idea of it does not bother me at all.
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