My boyfriend of 3 years is still not ready to marry; what should I do?

Dear Bukky,

I have been in a relationship for three years now and he is not talking about marriage.

I have told him to go see my parents but he has refused.

Please what should I do?____________

Dear reader,

What you’ll often hear from many quarters is that many men have commitment issues. And to an extent that is true.

On the other hand, however, many young men feel incapable and are just worried of what would happen if they married and couldn’t cope with the responsibilities and demands of that kind of life.

The key for you is to decide which of these categories your boyfriend falls in – the ones baselessly scared of commitment, or those who have genuine reasons for waiting.

If his finances are shaky and it’s obvious to you, I don’t think you should force his hands. His reluctance could be a blessing for you. I don’t think there’s any reason to rush into marriage.

What I’d rather look for is his commitment to you and the relationship at this stage. Does he do shady things? Are his words consistent? Does he look reasonably clean? Are there things about him that worry you?

If you consider these things and there’s nothing bothersome about the answers, I think some more time is what you should give him. Just a little more time.

Marriage is a lifetime thing, so I don’t think it’s wrong to look extremely carefully before committing to it.____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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