My girl wants a break, should I agree to that?

Dear Bukky,

I live and work in Abuja Nigeria.

I dated a lady sometime in 2007, but the relationship came to an end in 2012. We decided to come back together in February, 2017.

Sometimes in June, I noticed some non-committal attitude from her. On several occasions, I spoke to her about it but she refused to turn a new leaf.

I’ve told her severally that once she closes from work by 5pm, she should let me know, but she never does.

So on 31st November 2017, I called her several times but she deliberately refused to pick my call till 9pm that day. When she later called back she gave me a flimsy excuse.

I called her the following day and told her that I didn’t like her attitude towards the relationship, and if she’s fed up or something, she should just let me know.

That was when she revealed to me that she was still in love with her ex. So I asked her what’s so special about the ex and she said he got her the job that she’s doing at the moment, bought her some things and she’s finding it difficult to let go of him in her heart.

Now she has asked for 2-3weeks to recover from whatever she feels for the guy.

Please advise me on what to do? Should I give her the break she requested or what should I do?

I love her so dearly._______________

Dear Reader,

Before I get to the issue of the ex and whether or not to give her the break she asked for, let me quickly address the part where you asked her to call you everyday after work.

I hope it's because you want to go pick her at work or something similar? If that's not what you are asking her to call you for, I don't think this is cool. It sounds like suspicion/distrust. Like you are dogging every of her steps or something.

Away from that, I do not think she needs 2-3 weeks to make up her mind about a relationship that no longer exists. I mean, she should know whether or not she wants to be with you or not.

This relationship began after she ended the previous one. I think it's about time she made up her mind to either be all in with you or to find her way out instead of making you compete with the memory of her ex boyfriend.

I think everyone deserves to be number one in their partner's llives.

On breaks, I personally do not subscribe to the idea. But if she must, I think two or three days should be fine. Two or three weeks away from the relationship is too much, especially now that things are not particularly great.

You should be communicating through this period, not staying far away from each other.

This article here provides more useful details on this. You should check it out for more guidance.______________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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