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McShayn's Love Thread How to stop insecurities from killing your relationship

Insecurity leaves people wondering if their partner still needs them at all, and if they still do, how long will it last for...

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Insecurity ruins relationships, plain and simple.

It is the force that often forces people to become too clingy or needing too much attention, which, of course creates more problems.

Falling in love truly and deeply naturally gets people trusting without reservation and effectively leaves them vulnerable to heartbreaks and/or disappointment.

However, when people have been dragged through the distressing experience of a heartbreak, they go into subsequent relationships bearing the scar of that bad experience and this leaves them distrustful, and of course, insecure.

For someone whose heart was once broken without warning or any tell-tale sign of an impending blow, every innocent, meaningless action of their new partner will scrutinized and interpreted many times in their hearts when there’s actually nothing going wrong anywhere.

play Insecurity (Shutterstock)


They wonder if a richer, finer man has not grabbed the attention of their partner.

ALSO READ: How do you react when your partner hurts you?

Perhaps, the man is only being quiet. They panic and start wondering what he's planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else?

If they don't know exactly where she is, their suspicions get heightened and they keep calling and calling for the fear that they might get dumped soon.

Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, but when people start to exhibit behaviours such as over-analysing every action, or trying to read meaning into everything their partner does, there might be a problem.

To overcome this problem, communication remains the biggest answer.

play Stop overthinking! Your lover still loves you as ever (Shutterstock)


Instead of trying to read their mind to know what’s happening or trying to play detective, why not sit them down and have a honest conversation?

Often times, the problem may not even be in existence in reality, created only by your overthinking and extreme analyses.

It will also do you a lot of good to work on yourself, and improve your confidence in yourself. If you think you are overweight, or unattractive, then get to work and do the needful, instead of loathing your partner because you think they will leave you.

It is also advisable to stop making comparisons between your former partners that did you dirty and the present partner you’re with now.

play Insecurities will ruin your relationship if not quickly addressed. (Shutterstock)

It helps no one if you can’t let go of your ugly past and you keep dragging it with you everywhere you go.

Finally, instead of always trying to fish out potential plans to breakup with you, or playing detective to see if your partner has been bedding other people, why not try to relax and concentrate on the positives in the relationship?

While it is good to be careful, it serves no good purpose to let your ‘being woke’ cross to plain irritating insecurity.

Learn to breathe. No one has ever added a strand of hair to the one on their head by worrying.

Just relax. It’s the wisest thing to do.

Do you ever fear your partner will leave you?»

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