One of the most-commonly discussed relationship themes is the creation of standards and their validity.
You know, all that talk about what you want in a partner, the values you shouldn't forgo and all the stuff [tangible and intangible] that a partner must surely possess before you consider them good enough for you.
Twitter users are especially familiar with the discussion of standards because it is one of the topics that seem inexhaustible on that platform.
So yesterday, May 22 2017, like on several other occasions, Twitter erupted, as it often does, when the issue of relationship standards came up again.
This time the discussion was about cars and how important they were in keeping relationships moving. [No puns here, please move along].
A user had tweeted something in the line of how uncool it was for people who had no cars to marry and impregnate their wives
He didn’t think anyone should put a woman through the discomfort of hustling for keke napep or other forms of public transportation while pregnant.
In no time, other users descended en-masse, and were soon everywhere on his TL like vultures at the location of more than one carrion.
His opinion was torn to shreds, and in typical Internet fashion, his thought process, IQ, and basically everything about his life and existence was called to question till he deleted that tweet.
But though the tweet was deleted, the tone had been set for another long day of standard setting and standard tearing on Twitter Nigeria.
So through the day and deep into the evening, the car conversation was driven continuously, with almost everyone hopping on to give an opinion on the matter.
See, the whole point of setting these standards is to get for yourself what is best for you. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this.
The expectations people have from relationships vary and these expectations need to be respected.
Some guys cannot marry a lady that does not pray, some ladies will not look at you twice if you do not have a car, some people hold religion so dear that they wouldn’t even consider you if you do not belong to their religion.
These rules and pedestals are personal and so far as you do not try to force it down the throat of another, you should never feel at fault for having them.
Times have changed and we are all being advised to ride this wave of wokeness and political correctness and all.
You know, religion should no longer be a barrier to being with one’s soulmate, so shouldn’t be tribalism, race and established gender roles.
As much as being progressive and practicing religious tolerance is great and all, I believe if your choice, as a lady, is to never be with someone who doesn’t observe the five daily prayers, then by all means, do not give him a chance, let alone marry someone who isn’t even a muslim. Same goes with other standards or relationship expectations you have in your mind.
There is this arrogant type of manipulation people guise in the form of ‘care’ and ‘looking out for your best interest’ when they tell you to lower your standards because ‘you can’t find anyone like that.’
Don’t lower any friggin’ thing!
Best believe there is someone out there for almost everyone and your standards are not what will pursue the real love of your life away from you.
The idea that one is single because he aims too high – a babe with great shape, good cook, loves God and adores family, lady in the street and freak in the sheets, etc – is bullshit.
Being single is an indication of having not met the right person, not necessarily an indictment of your high standards.
And even if you ever need to modify, bend, increase or lower that standard, do it at your own discretion, not because someone says you can’t find someone good enough.
The act or process of setting these standards for yourself follows the same pattern which every life should follow…
Chart your path. Live on your own terms. Set your own standards.
That’s the way to go.