When a man cheats on his wife, why should she even consider taking him back at all? And if she would, why would she take him back as easily as some married women apparently do?
Take for example this story of a married woman who recently set Twitter ablaze by sharing scandalous photos of her husband’s side chick. She goes on to explain that she took the drastic step to silence the side-chick who was not only sleeping with her husband but had the audacity to constantly disrespect her by posting ‘sarcastic’ comments on many of her tweets.
The question many had for her, in the midst of all the dust she raised with that revelation on September 28, 2018, was ‘are you giving your husband this same level of energy for bringing this girl into your life in the first instance?’
Her answer to that question is a tame one, with which she explains that her husband had apologised and that he and she had moved on from that cheating episode. She also tries to excuse his behaviour with the assertion that the cheating occurred at a time she was nursing a newborn, as if that makes It OK for her husband to cheat.
In a general sense, the woman’s behaviour mirrors that of many other women who are usually quick to forgive and embrace their husbands with open arms, only to go after the other woman with misguided viciousness
To understand why this is the case, we need to first consider the pervading mood in the society when it comes to weddings and marriages. On the average, Nigerian kids are schooled and primed by all agents of socialization for marriage within a certain age bracket. And by the time you luckily snag a husband, Nigerians are often told, you better make sure you stay there and don’t come back home. Stay there at your husband’s house and bear all you see. Fix all that happens. Don’t let another woman take your place.
Having kids for the husband makes things even more complicated. Women have always, and sadly would still continue to stay with cheating [and sometimes abusive] men if it means they'll remain close to their children. It’s a sacrifice we keep hoping women don’t have to make so frequently.
In order to further know why women would keep taking back cheating husbands, we also have to consider that men cheat so much to the extent that so many women have now come to accept it as normal. All men cheat, they say, and brace themselves for all the extreme sowing of wild oats that their husbands will do.
So women numb themselves before it even happens, praying and hoping that the man is kind and merciful enough to keep it far from them, instead of rubbing it in their faces. This writer actually still does not understand why women take their husband’s cheating as a shame on them, instead of leaving him to bear that burden all by himself.
In addition, the fact that there are many cheating men is why men who do not cheat have become demi-gods in the eyes of their partners. The scarcity of faithfulness among husbands [and even boyfriends] has made faithfulness such an highly-rated thing.
And as I already wrote in this piece in an ideal relationship/marriage, faithfulness is meant to be one of the barest minimum requirements and not the big deal that people have now made it.