Husbands, wives & uneven marital responsibilities
Why do women have to do the most in most marriages?
Even at weddings, elders and even priests seem to dwell more on how the bride should be a great wife than how the groom should be a great husband.
Twitter user, @Dandy_Locks, uses a personal experience at his wedding ceremony and short marriage as a sample on the matter.
In a thread published yesterday, September 4 2017 on the social media platform he says:
"I've been married a week, and in that time there has been lots of advice...
"Of all these "well meaning" advice, not very many people have addressed or advised me on how to be a better husband for my wife.
"Much of the advice has been around the whole idea of my wife having to make sure that I am well fed.
"On my wedding night someone said "we know she makes cake but it's not just cake you will eat."
"It's amazing the burden placed on women to sustain a relationship and keep their husbands alive while very little is expected of husbands.
"Not one person has even done the patriarchal balance of asking me to make sure she is taken care of financially (because broke boy).
"All that said, the men that I know that are married have been a shining light of how not to be a husband. I'll just not follow their lead.
"If you have any advice on how my wife can be a better wife... Hold it. But if you know how I can be a better husband to her, speak up.
"For as long as we've been together, strangers would strike up conversation and start pleading with her to make sure that she "keeps me."
"Without knowing anything about us or her. They assume that I'm so valuable, that she must bend and contort to please me...
"Women are always given this spiel Because men are children to work on a love for reward basis allegedly... Even though that's been proven false."
This view actually hits on the existing, widely-held belief that women have more work to do to keep a marriage alive.
Many men easily get away with doing little or nothing in the marriage asides earning an income.
But to be qualified enough to say he is a married or family man, a man has to be actively involved in the upbringing and general life of his kids and truly caring for his wife and the continuity of the happiness in his marriage to her.
Maybe if more men's efforts match women's, there'd be more successful marriages than we have now.
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