Pulse.ng logo

Love and Dating What 'ghosting' means & why it hurts so bad in relationships

Ever pulled a disappearing act on someone who loved and treasured your presence in his/her life?

  • Published: , Refreshed:
Ghosting hurts, and it hurts really bad play

Ghosting hurts, and it hurts really bad

(Psychology Today)

Fact: Dating has now moved beyond the realm of physical contact, and now extends to online relationships.

The advantages of this are real, and sadly, so are the disadvantages which some may argue are more than the advantages.

One of the problems which seem to have become popular with the increase in online dating is ‘ghosting.’

Ghosting, according to Urban Dictionary means "quietly disappearing from someone you've met on an online dating site."

The act is also known as ‘fading away’ and although it seems to have been made popular by online relationships, it is not limited to those who found love online.

play Ghosting could trigger feelings of inadequacy, especially for people with low self esteem (FGP)


Even in relationships that were not begun online, people have pulled disappearing acts on their partners for reasons best known to them, leaving those partners wondering what they did wrong, why they were dumped without the slightest notice, and of course without closure.

“I have left several guys without even telling them anything. I just stopped responding to their messages, calls, or any other form of contact,” says Tolani.

ALSO READ: How do I break up with my older girlfriend without breaking her heart?

“Most times, I do so if I catch the slightest idea that they are fuckboys or something.”

Ghosting is most easily achieved when the partners are not in close quarters; for example, when one of the partners stays far away from the other, and of course, online relationships are easily broken because partners sometimes have not even seen each other.

play Ghosting; a real emotional problem (Flipboard)

So why does ghosting hurt?

1. It leaves one confused

When relationships end this way, the left partner often feels confused; wondering what happened, what he/she did wrong and what could have gone wrong.

play Why ghosting isn't advisable (Pinterest)


2. No closure

When relationships end without closure, it could leave the abandoned partner terribly damaged, and unable to move on.

Discussing the reasons why a relationship cannot work before dumping the partner is the

3. It’s heartbreaking

When people ghost, one of the reasons is because they assume that the other person will get the message and just move on.

That’s an absolutely selfish thing to do, and just as heartbreaking for the person ghosted on.

play Ghosting creates feelings of being unwanted in people (Bustle)


4. Causes feelings of inadequacy

Psychology Today, explains that being ghosted on has negative mental implications.

And for people with low self-esteem, it is quite logical that being ghosted on could trigger extreme feelings of inadequacy and not being good enough, and that is a terrible things to make someone go through.

Do you ever witness news or have a story that should be featured on Pulse Nigeria?
Submit your stories, pictures and videos to us now via WhatsApp: +2349055172167, Social Media @pulsenigeria247: #PulseEyewitness & DM or Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng. More information here.