Is the mother-in-law your biggest problem?

"Mother in-laws are crazy,"wicked or witches at least these are what some single and about-to-be-married ladies believe their partner's mothers to be. Some even get scared to marry guys whose mothers are still alive or a guy who is the only boy or the last born in his home with five sisters ahead of him.

Most girls will tell you that mother-in-laws give the biggest trouble in marriages. They claim these mothers always try to intervene in marriages or want to have control over their sons; forgetting he's married and has his own family.

These girls may be right thanks to the fact that some of their friends who are already married tell them the nightmares they face from their monster-in-laws. Some of the tales are so scary, single girls are afraid to get married.

Local films also do not help. They sometimes portray mother-in-laws as the villain in most African homes. A mother will show up at her son's house without notice and start making trouble with his young wife for reasons best known to them. Yes, it’s the case in many homes but it's not always the case. Some mothers are really sweet and not witches!

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A mother-in-law is not only the mother to the son or the daughter but is a mom to the couple. When mothers need to understand this. But when a mother claims to love her son more than his wife, then there's a problem. Or when a mother cunningly discourages her son from dating the girls of his choice in the name of "she's not good for you," then there's a problem.

A good mother-in-law has to learn to hands off when her son's relationship is getting serious. Allow him make those choices, make mistakes and learn the lessons. Then he's a man. He can't lean on his mom for every little thing in his life. Don’t tell your son, "she's of no good" when you have no tangible evidence. She's his choice, respect it!

However, young single girls also need to respect the fact that your fiance or husband is that woman's beloved son. Beware you came she was there… in fact, has always been there. You have to find a balance in your home and don’t allow your mother-in-law to just because you are trying to respect your husband.

Be reminded that he's your friend and even in friendship, there are rules. Who is allowed or out. So sit your male partners down and speak some sense into them. Set those rules before and after marriage. If something comes up, it should be dealt with at once. Don't say, "I know him, he'll handle it". No he wouldn’t dare talk to his mother.

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Over all, learn to open your heart to your mother-in-law. Don't assume she's bad like your friend's mother-in-law and start to disrespect her for nothing. Treat her with respect same way you will treat your own mother. Always see her as your mom.

Another thing, pray for them none stop! It's never easy relating with others but when you are good, there's a huge possibility you'll be respected if you respect yourself. You'll be shown love if you show love too. If you are a good wife, your hudband, fiance or boyfriend will fight those family battles for you.

Be good to yourself, and open your heart to love even from that monster-in-law!