Telling your partner about other people you are attracted to, how wise?

In case you did not know, you can be in a relationship and still get attracted, even catch feelings for someone else.

Like we said in this previous beautiful piece here; “being genuinely in love with a man or woman does not magically take away the inclination to be attracted or to fall in love with other people.

“If you think that getting your dream guy will automatically make you immune to every other man, you are on a long thing.”

Knowing what we now know about people in relationships and the residual ability to get attracted to other people, the question that needs answering next is; should your partner know that you are attracted to someone else?

Ben, married and in his mid 30’s says: “I don’t think it’s a great idea, really.”

“One day after telling her you have a crush on some other woman, you’re going to return late from work and she’ll start thinking you were with that other women, even though you were actually at work.”

Ben is not the only one who thinks that telling a partner about a crush is not a good idea. To many other people, too, revealing a crush to a partner will only cause all sorts of insecurities and unnecessary suspicions.

ALSO READ:Things you should not tell anyone but your partner

On a general note, according to NT, a young media professional in Lagos, telling a partner that there is some real life person [not a celeb or TV personality] that you have a crush on is like creating problems for yourself that you really can do without.

“It all depends on how I intend to act on that crush,” says NT of herself. “If it is someone with whom I know nothing can ever happen, then why not?

“On the other hand, if it’s someone I really don’t trust myself around, I don’t think I will tell my boyfriend about it.” she concludes.

The choice to actually tell a partner something like this is dependent on the closeness shared by you and them, alongside the emotional maturity and temperament of such partner.

In the end, what you do with that information and the attraction itself boils down to how committed you are to that partner and your relationship.

If it’s worth it, you’ll do all you can to disregard that attraction and stick with your partner, even if it means passing up the opportunity to chase [and get] some of the gorgeous men and women you’ll ever see in your life.