Is it a mistake to fall in love with someone online?

Dear Bukky,

So I have been having quality phone call conversations and chats daily for 10 months with this dude. We've been lovey-dovey but not technically in a relationship.

He schools abroad and I here in Nigeria. We connect on a whole other level I used to know him back when he was in Naija and we started this marathon during his last visit home.

My question is, I'm one and half years older and I feel skeptical about us some days because people would think I'm sticking with him because he's a med and I get scared that long distance will rip us of trust.

Also I’m kinda the insecure type too. He tells me differently but can I trust to date someone I can't see one year intervals?

Also, there was this time he told me about a sexcapade he had over there and he said it meant nothing but honestly I don't know what to make of it.

Everyone I tell says I should leave him but you can't up and leave someone that has become a part of your daily routine, right?

PS: He asked me [to be his girlfriend] a couple of weeks ago. I told him to wait till he gets back to the country in a month from now.

I honestly love him and have been curving guys like mad for him. I want to know if I’m not making a mistake here.____________

Dear reader,

I do not think you are doing a wrong thing by letting yourself enjoy the moment with someone who understands how to give you a good time and seems to have a good connection with you.

How could that ever be a bad thing when it is not always easy to get someone with whom such bonds are created? I don’t think it is. So rest assured that you are not doing anything wrong by allowing the connection blossom.

That being said, I know for a certainty that long distance-relationships are not for the faint-hearted and usually require heightened levels of everything that makes relationships tick. Your trust level has to be really great to believe that your partner is faraway and staying true to you over there. Your loyalty, communication and all other stuff have to also be up there. You need greater levels of everything than people who are in regular relationships.

Without this, the relationship might as well not begin at all. So ask yourself, are you the type of babe who can deal with all these? Are you the type who can put up with a lover’s protracted absence and deal with it appropriately? Do you have the mental fortitude to deal with such relationship? If your answer to this is ‘No’ and you are really unwilling to try, I think you should not get into that relationship.

So far so good you have not done anything wrong. But it is time to face glaring realities and act accordingly.

While I can’t ever make a decision for you, the directives above should point you in the right direction to go._____________

My boyfriend says he no longer cares about me

Dear Bukky,

My boyfriend and I have been there for three years. And now he has really changed his behaviour towards me. He doesn't even call me anymore he does it only once a while.

The other time he called to tell me he loves me but he doesn't care about me anymore. I don't want to also call him anymore. Please am I doing the right thing?____________

Dear reader,

Yes, It is OK to leave someone who says he no longer cares about you. What is the love for then if he no longer cares to do things that people who love you are supposed to do?

As a matter of fact, not only do I think you should stop calling him, I also think you should stop the relationship as a whole._____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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A problem shared is a problem half-solved!