Relationship Talk With Bukky: I'm scared to marry my fiancé; I think she's dating married men

Dear Bukky,

I have been dating this girl for over a year and everything was wonderful until I moved into my own place about 6 months ago.

I started noticing some things. Most times she is at my place, she turns her phone face down, chats on WhatsApp only when I’m not so close to her and on two occasions I caught her deleting text messages. Confronted her about it and she said it’s was nothing, she was trying to manage space, mind you she uses a 64G ‘iPhone 7’.

On this lovely weekend, she comes over to my place and a call came through, she hesitated to answer until I insisted. I asked who the guy was and she said he was just a friend calling to check up on her and he was married. My suspicion grew.

The following day I went through her text message with this same guy only to find out they have been seeing each other for a while even going to hotel together.

The sad part is we have planned formal introduction in about 3 months. I can honestly swear by my life, I have never cheated on her before.

At this point I am in a dilemma, what do I do? I have considered breaking up and moving on. What do you advise?____________

Dear reader,

I think you need to be double sure before doing anything drastic. I mean, you need to get your facts right and act accordingly. Do not continue with doubts, and do not break things up based on stuff you are not even sure of.

While this won’t be such an easy thing to solve, you still need to put in the effort so that you can be sure that you exercised due diligence before letting her go, or before getting out of the relationship.

I think you should keep the evidence of her cheating that you have and lay low for a bit to see if you can get more. If there’s some huge undeniable evidence in the coming weeks, that would be great. If not, I think you should just get some more messages to corroborate your fears.

If you find that, an accumulation of the old and the new should be enough to make up your mind.

Having said that, I think you need not force anything, If she is not cheating on you, don’t force things. You could just be overreacting and getting things mixed up.

Whatever you do, just be true to yourself and be fair in all your doings with her, even if it turns out that she has indeed been cheating as you feared._____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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