I'm in love with someone else; my wife is about to find out!

Dear Bukky,

l am married, but unfortunately there is a lady for whom I have fallen.

It took me time to realise exactly what was wrong with me. I tried to deny the feeling inside my heart telling me that I’m in love with that lady. Each and every time I think about her. Even when I’m with my wife, my heart and mind keeps chasing her. So my question is this: what can I do?

At first I really thought maybe it was lust but it is not. I do love her whole heartedly. My wife is about to start suspecting my actions. What do I do?___________

Dear reader,

I really do not know anything else to say except that you have to be a man and stick to your words.

If you promised your wife when you married that you’ll be with her when it’s difficult and when it isn’t, now is the time to live up to those words. When people say marriage requires effort to grow, here is one of those situations. And really, you owe her the duty to keep your eyes only on her. Don’t get carried away.

I will not sit here and deny that what you are feeling is ingenuine or impossible. Of course, I know that it is possible to feel attracted to someone else, and even fall in love with them. But while that is uncontrollable, what you do with that feeling is. And that control is what you should exercise in this case.

If your wife was being a thorn in your flesh, or if you and her were going through some irreconcilable differences now, that would be a different case and it could be approached differently. But no such thing is in existence and that means that you owe her the reasonable thing in this circumstance.

And what that means is that you should close your eyes to that other woman, no matter how difficult it may feel for you.

Stop watering the attraction. Stop letting it fester. Please don’t make that distraction grow in your heart more than it has to.______________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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