I am a 25 year old woman who just recently had her national service and during this period I fell in love with my young, spinster supervisor and we starting dating. Even though this relationship hasn't been easy because we had to keep it a secret from work colleagues and friends, he has proven beyond all doubt that he loves me and wants us to get married.

However, the biggest problem I have with him is that, he hardly calls and hardly visits me even though we live quite close and even though he has a car. He says he's been busy, but I know the nature of his work because I've worked there before.

I've realised am not his priority and he only has time for me only when it’s convenient. He doesn't go the extra mile when it comes to me. He'd rather rush to a male friend who needs help than to me who wants his help.

But I love him so much that I've pampered him and cared for him so much that he's taking me for granted. Just some few weeks ago, after leaving his place he refused to call me again and ever since I've not heard from him in three weeks.

What surprises me is we didn’t have a quarrel or fight before i left, we were so cool. Mostly I'll do the calling when he behaves in this manner but this time I've also decided not to, but see how long it has without him calling or texting.

I'm hurting and in so much pain but I want to stick to my decision to see if he's willing to fight for me by calling. He's the only man I've ever loved, making him the only man I've ever slept with. Please help me. My worse fear is I've given out my virginity of 24 good years to the wrong man.


Dear reader,

I think you should communicate as you have always done. Adults should not be playing these kind of games. It is better to talk and let him know how you really feel, how badly treated you feel.

You can tell him these things and watch the relationship turn into something more productive for the both of you, or you could continue playing this wait-and-watch game and keep hurting yourself and the relationship.

In the end, communicating lets you know where you stand and also helps you make the best decision possible without wasting too much of your time.

I would talk to him and ask him what’s up if I were you. You deserve to know if you are doing this thing together or not. No one should have their time wasted this way when they can move on to other, better things.


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