No relationship exists without expectations. That is a simple truth that can’t be avoided or denied. It is pretty much impossible to be in a relationship or married to someone without expecting certain things.

Faithfulness, commitment, loyalty and honesty among other things are basic things that everyone expects to get from people they have an emotional, romantic connection with and those expectations are not out of place or too much to ask for.

What to expect and what not to expect

Ideally, every romantic relationship is based on the simple, unarguable things, some of which are already mentioned above. When you ask or agree to be in a relationship with someone, they do not even have to ask you about things like love, trust, commitment, attention and all that required stuff. It is presumed that you would know and it is with this this mindset that many relationships are started. Two people come together off the back of conversations, friendships, social and emotional connections and mutuality, with the expectation that they are on the same page, and that they want the same things. Therefore, all their expectations, be it emotional, physical, financial or in any other way, will be met by their partner.

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Many relationships are built off sexual chemistry rather than an understanding of proper communication and what could happen without it. [Credit: Shutterstock]

But are all expectations valid?

Of course not! And this is where conflict creeps into relationships. People approach relationships so many times with a confused idea of what is basic and what is special.

The basic relationship expectations and the special requirements are not the same but some people wrongly presume that they are, therefore causing problems for themselves in the relationships they enter into.

For example, a man goes into a relationship thinking that it is normal to expect sex from a relationship just as it is normal to expect faithfulness and exclusivity. A woman goes into a relationship with the expectation that every of her financial needs must be met by the man as a matter of compulsion rather than voluntariness. The truth of the matter, however, is that financial gifts to your babe is nice and all but you are under no obligation to do so. Doing it is advisable but it should never be taken as the core of what to look out for in a potential partner. The expectation of financial and material gifts in a relationship is not basic. It is a special need. It is not on the same level with barest minimum things like honesty and truthfulness.

Same thing with sex. In a society where abstinence and premarital celibacy is still a big deal, you cannot just expect sex from all relationships you enter into just as you would naturally and rightly expect your partner to be kind and affectionate towards you.

Communicate before the relationship begins and do not stop communicating after it does. [Credit: CapitalFM]

The secret to having all your expectations met?

The simple answer is in communication.

Expectations are best known, managed and met when the two people intending to get into a relationship or marriage sit down and converse. Clarification and understanding comes when people sit and ask questions about what they want, how they want it, what they do not want, what they consider as deal breakers, how they want to be treated in different circumstances and what they hold as real relationship goals.

With these fully and openly and honestly discussed BEFOREHAND, you get to know whether or not you want to get into the relationship at all, and what exactly you are getting into if you choose to give things a try.

No relationship perfect and it is quite impossible that a partner will meet 100% of your expectations every time. But with open communication, love and a desire to make things work, not many expectations will be impossible too meet.