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Relationship Talk With Bukky I've been married for 13 years; how do I keep the love strong?

Why does love and affection reduce after a while in relationship and what can be done to remedy?

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How to keep your love strong & beautiful beyond 10 years play You might want to also take time to bond well and get an idea of where the relationship is headed before involving kids. (Shutterstock)

Dear Bukky,

Please I have this question that has been bothering me for some time now. I've been married for like 13 years and what I want to ask now is seriously affecting my relationship.

Why does love and affection reduce after a while in relationship and what can be done to remedy?

Dear reader,

In a marriage that has lasted as much as yours, it is not unusual for things to have become routine and not as exciting or romantic as it was in the early years and the reason for this is pretty easy to deduce.

After being together for such a long time, there is every likelihood that your kids, job and other family and work responsibilities would have taken precedence in your mind rather than romance and it understandable.

However, you can’t allow romance die down like that. Actually it is nice to see this concern you just showed for your marriage. What I would love you to do is now is channel this concern into action.

ALSO READ: Why love & affection reduce after a while in relationships

It will require you being conscious about it but you have to. It won’t necessarily be as easy as it was before you had kids, but you have to look for a way to reenact the romance between you and your wife and be consistent about it.

Create time for dates, at least two times in a month, get random gifts, notice or ask what her love language is and work with that, also be sensitive, listen, pay attention.

Like I said, it would require a lot of effort and dedication on your part [she’s meant to reciprocate and meet you halfway] but still, it’s a conscious thing.

It does not have to be difficult as love would power you to selflessly do these things but regardless, you need to be intentionally about it. Very intentional.
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