How do I get away from my boyfriend's baby mama issues?

Dear Bukky,

It all started when this hot guy noticed me at an Agro shop in town, he said hi and we flirted a little and soon we were in a relationship.

A few weeks went by and then boom his wife called me from the blue asking me if I was seeing her man. Being guilty I told her everything and showed her everything he had ever said to me.

I was extremely mad and then vowed never to speak to him again, but he somehow managed to call me and convince me that she was just a drama-loving baby mama, so I fell back in the trap and so the story began.

It has been a constant battle trying to leave him but every time I try, he makes me feel guilty like I'm not patient enough to wait for him to work his situation out. I'm at a loss what do I do?___________

Dear reader,

I need to tell you emphatically that you owe that man nothing. Nothing at all.

If a man could start a relationship with you and leave you to find out something as hugely important as a baby mama on your own, you surely owe him nothing.

How are you even sure that the woman is a ‘baby mama’ as he claims? What if she’s indeed his wife as she says? There’s a lot of unpalatable possibilities and conjectures here and this is why you should not have stuck with him this long in the first instance.

I want you to know that whatever he says to make you feel guilty about leaving him is a big lie, and he’s just messing with your head. He’s the one who has been dishonest from the get-go by not opening up to you that there’s another woman in the picture. Do not allow him put the blame for his actions on you. You owe him no duty to stick with him while he clears up whatever mess he put himself in.

I actually believe that you should dump him for good and never look back but if you really like him and would love to give him a chance; I think you need to be sure he has fixed up his mess and is willing and ready to make you the one and only. If you can satisfactorily decide that, then you may say yes to him.___________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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