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Relationship Talk He has a girlfriend but I've caught feelings for him

He is everything I'm looking for in a guy and what I feel for him is overwhelming...

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I love him despite his girlfriend; what do I do? play

I love him despite his girlfriend; what do I do?


Dear Bukky,

I've been in only one serious relationship in my life and it ended in October 2016.

Between now and then I've been in like two failed relationships because I said yes without asking myself if the two of us were compatible.

I then decided not to enter into a relationship until I was ready and feel what I felt with my first love.

So, I just focused on friends, my education and work. But in the process of working, my boss asked me to follow him somewhere for a meeting, which I did and from there I met this guy (he was the one that drove us to our destination) and he was my boss' friend.

The moment we were introduced, he started a conversation and started complementing me on my beauty and brilliance and how he'd finally found a girlfriend.

I laughed, deciding not to take him serious. My boss even scolded him to leave me alone because he had a girlfriend

The moment my boss mentioned his girlfriend, he dismissed the topic in a manner that would make someone disbelieve that he had a girlfriend. So I thought it was just one of those normal jokes guys play and I ignored him.

But along the line, we started working together too and at times when my boss couldn't make it, we'd end up going out for meetings together and not once did he let the matter rest.

Getting to know him, I realized he was a very funny and nice person, so I felt he was just joking about how he wants me to be his girlfriend.

But consequently, he started asking me what it would take to prove to me that he's serious about me.

Naturally, I'd laugh it off, knowing that he probably had a girlfriend. But one day when we were coming back from a compulsory all night dinner, I was really tired and sleepy.

I heard him say he had fallen in love with me but I couldn't reply because I was drowsy. So, I checked myself when I got home and discovered that I felt the same way about him too.

I even figured that he was everything I was looking for in a guy and what I felt for him was overwhelming. So I called him and told him that we needed to talk.

The next day, he saw me and started telling me that I can't be in love with him because he's complicated.

I was surprised because he'd been pestering me for so long to take him serious, going out of his way to cater for my needs, showing public affection for me, kissing my cheek... and I thought to myself, why did he go through all that trouble to win my love and affection only to come and start sprouting trash.

I remained calm and asked him what the complications were and he said "it's really a lot, including the fact that there's someone else. "

I was mad. He actually had a girlfriend all this time and was keeping it secret from me.

All the time, I thought she was just his friend only for him to tell me that she was his girlfriend. I'm really not the kind that would want to destroy anyone’s relationship.

I even liked the girl because she's nice and beautiful. So I decided to stay away and nurse my wounds because I finally decided to feel again and the person I fell for decided to shoot me in the heart.

But he still won't let me be. Now I'm sick and I’ve been away from work for a while. He’s called to check up on me and he’s telling me that he loves me and would love us to hang out.

I'm just confused. I love him, but I don't want to hurt his girlfriend by either making sure they break up, or cheating on her with him.

But he's not making things any easy for me…

Dear reader,

Please make it easy for yourself and just walk away from this confusion. There are really no two ways to this.

Here is a man who has a girlfriend and has continued to pester you to be with him regardless of that fact. Come on, there really isn’t anything to think about here.

You know better than to hang around someone with a tendency for unfaithfulness and confusion as this guy.

I mean, did he not draw back when you finally responded to his affection? He’s trying to cheat on his babe with you, and on top of that, he does not even know what he wants.

All I see here is a great deal of uncertainty and a perfectly-set stage for drama you shouldn’t be involving yourself in.

If you are indeed the kind of person you say you are, then I think you know you should not even be considering this.

If you’ve been waiting for something good and of worth, this is not it.

You need to wait a bit more for someone that’ll do better than lie to you, be with you in secrecy and cloud your life with confusion from his own life.

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

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