How to clarify your relationship status without stress

Ten practical steps to help you ask the question, "what are we?" without awkwardness or embarrassment.

That point where you feel yourself become overly attached to that amazing girl/guy, and feel a need for clarification; the need for validation of the deeper emotional connection you’ve been developing with that person.

“What are we?”  That’s how some people choose to frame the question. Others prefer to go “what are we doing?” Some people just bluntly ask you, “Are we a couple or just hanging out together?”

Whichever way the question is framed, it shows that one of two friends is starting to have their heads spun by that thing called ‘love’, and if you have been there before, you can attest to it that these discussions are usually very awkward.

This article was written for you if you are in that situation, or if you think you might be getting there soon.

Here are tips to assist you when the time comes to successfully have this conversation with little or no awkwardness or embarrassment.

Don’t be in a hurry

The most common mistake is pressing to define the relationship too soon. Every good thing takes time; please afford them some.

Be honest

Obviously you see potential for this romance. Now is a great time to honestly explain how you feel about your relationship, and why.

Be sure of your own feelings

Make out what you are feeling. The worst thing is to approach someone with the “what are we doing?” question when you do not even know for sure what you are feeling. Only proceed when you feel no indecision or doubt.

Proper location

Simply put, please do not have this conversation at a location with too many people; the chances of awkwardness and/or embarrassment will be really high.

Be direct

Don’t be too timid or afraid to ask it the way you’re feeling it. If you’ve been hanging out for a while, it’s totally okay to want to know where you stand.

Be open-minded

You will benefit mightily if you go with an open mind. Remember that line from Jay Z’s “Forever Young”? It goes, “…hoping for the best but expecting the worst...”

That’s exactly what should be on your mind as you prepare to have that conversation.

Don't raise a tantrum

The other person may not be prepared to give a definitive affirmation of undying love and fidelity. If that’s the case, don’t assume complete rejection.

Keep some questions handy

In case you still do not know what to ask, consider these few -  “Do you see us as ‘just friends’ or more than that? Are we dating exclusively or is our relationship just casual?”

Don’t be scared to ask, too, if they only want friendship with benefits. [Take nothing away from the table]

Don’t force an answer on the spot

Most people don’t reply well when they feel they’re being pressed to give the “right answer” on the spot.

Set time limits

While you are not forcing an instantaneous response, let them know you cannot wait forever, so set a sort of deadline for them, and be reasonable about it.

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