Women see you as childish and unworthy of women if you're only nice when there's a chance of sex or romance.
If it’s just a sexual relationship you want, too, it’s fine to strike up a conversation, maybe become friends and eventually make your intention known as soon as is reasonably possible.
If it sounds repulsive to your chaste mind that a guy would be forthright about his desire to be involved only in a sexual capacity with a woman, you have not been keeping up with the times.
Non-committal relationships are a thing now, and more women, aware of this, would rather prefer to be told from the onset if a guy's wish is for only a sexual relationship so that no one's time is wasted.
So it's always OK to say what you want - you could either get accepted or rejected.
What’s dumb is how a grown man suddenly becomes disrespectful just because a lady he shows interest in says no to him and his advances.
Out of every 10 women, at least seven have experienced a situation where a 'nice' guy suddenly turns sour and disrespectful when they said no to a romantic relationship.
“Not only is it disgusting,” says Kenny, whose most recent experience came just few weeks before the time of this article.
“It shows the level of the guy's immaturity and nothing pisses me off in a guy than this.
“It's especially annoying when I take my time to explain my reason(s) to you in the [calmest] and [most] respectful manner.
“I mean, it's okay to get that way if I was rude. Otherwise, it's sick,” she adds.
Not only do these guys become disrespectful, they also get petty; getting up during dates and abandoning women at dinner tables they had begged them to come to.
Some of them withdraw their friendship and its benefits the moment the babe says no.
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Yetunde explains her experience with a particular guy she thought was a friend, saying:
“We were friends and I was learning video editing from him.
“He kept asking and I kept saying NO. He decided one day to pull the plug.
“He said he doesn't want to be in the friend zone category. He said; ‘no dating, no editing lessons.’
Many women believe, and rightly so, that guys who are nice to women only when they desire sex or seek romantic relationships are nothing but childish and low in self-esteem.
“I think guys that do it lack self-esteem and need the Blood of Jesus to help them grow enough balls to withstand a rejection!" says Halima, a social media manager for one of Lagos's biggest brands.
“I think any guy who would insult you just because you did not yield to his whims is a creep and should be treated as such."
Ibukun, a student in Lagos adds, “They have low self-esteem and the best answer for such delinquent is silence.
“Ignore them and be happy you did not even accept the [delinquent']s proposal, if not sorry would have been your first and last name.”
This begs the question, can’t men be nice to women just as decent, reasonable human beings in a society?
Does every favour, every compliment and every good deed have to be tied to an expectation of sex and/or relationships?
Of course not. It does not have to be.
But as desirable as it is to be a good person and help people without expecting anything, there's no law that binds you to do it. It is not a crime if you choose to not be a good person. That's a blunt, unpopular truth.
Regardless, while a guy is free to withdraw benefits and even his friendship if he takes a lady's rejection personally, there is still a need to do so with grace. You don't need to be an asshole about it.
Understandably, it can be frustrating to like someone so much and have them reject you. But becoming disrespectful and names calling are not great ways to let out that frustration.
It’s OK to remain friends with a babe who rejected your request for a romantic relationship. Matter of fact, this leaves you in a position to relaunch a strike and maybe hit the mark at the second time of begging [Pun intended.]
On the other hand, it's also OK to withdraw your friendship [with sense, of course]
It's fine if you want to reduce the number of nice things you do for her, and it’s absolutely cool if you are no longer as invested in her as you were when you thought you stood a chance.
But it’s never OK to pull the plug with insults, or try to negate the compliments and nice things you said about her before.
Saying no to you did not suddenly make her ugly, fam.
My man, just take your 'L' and move on to someone else who will like you back and hopefully become the permanent recipient of all the nice things you want to say and do to a woman.
That’s how real men handle rejection from women. That’s how you should, too.