Dear Bukky,

I have a female friend who we have been close friends since 2016. I was dating then and so was she, but after my relationship ended and her relationship seemed to be in a rocky edge, I disclosed to her one day in 2017 that I’m in love with her.

She said she was happy to hear that. We kept talking and hanging out but communication was cut short due to me moving away. When I came back, we resumed our friendship.

I still feel that same amount of love for her and it keeps growing no matter how hard I try to hide it. She treats me right with respect but what I am afraid of is this; I think she likes mature [older] men than me.

I really love her but i don’t know if I should insist on a relationship with her. I’m sacred it will cripple our friendship.

What should I do? Because the thought of her being with another guy kills me.___________

Dear reader,

If the thought of her being with another guy makes you feel that way, then don’t let that happen! Be the guy. Ask her out and be the man you want her to have. It really is as simple as that.

I think the problem many times is that we overthink things. And it does not help to do this. I understand that you want to be sure of what you are getting into and it’s OK to be like that. But don’t let it cross into a glorification of your fears and all the things that could go wrong. Doing that will not help your cause.

Do you want her? From observation, does she look like the type of woman you want to be with? Then go ahead and ask her to be yours. Take the step and watch things blossom into something beautiful. It does not help to drag your feet because of the things you fear, and because of the things you think will go wrong.

Also, I do not think you are in the best position to decide for her what kind of men she likes. Didn’t she say she was excited about the fact that you like her? Why are you still bothered about the kind of men she likes?

Please make that move now. Delay could be dangerous. You could see your real fear materialize if you don’t make that move right now.____________

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