Breakfast Chronicles: “I had no clue I was the side guy for 7 months”

'This quiet babe actually used me as side piece for 7 months and I had no idea.'

Breakfast Chronicles: The 'Sideguy for months' edition

‘Breakfast Chronicles’ by Pulse is a new editorial series where we chat to people about their breakup stories, and provide an outlet for the most hurtful emotional experiences they’ve been through. It’ll kickstart a healing process for some, and for others, it’ll be evidence of how far they’ve moved on. For you, readers, we hope it’ll be therapeutic and relatable. Also, feel free to send a DM if you want to share your Breakfast Story with us.

On #BreakfastChroniclesByPulse today, we speak to a comrade whose ex-girlfriend took on a jolly ride for 7 months, before finally serving him breakfast in a bowl of silent treatment. “I would not have guessed that I was her side guy… she didn’t even look like the type to cheat,” he said.

Tell me about your current love life

Not dating anyone right now but I am talking with a couple of people. Just chilling and taking my time. We’ll see where it goes.

Normals. How many people are we talking about here?

Uhmmm 3. If you add this babe I occasionally see for genital meet and greet, then 4. But that one, we’ll never date each other. We’re kinda clear on that. It’s just sex and nothing more.

Oh. I stan a focused, multi-tasking king

The game is the game.

Tell me about your relationships though. Start from the first one

There’s been only one oh. LOL. So, it’s just that one.

Oh I see. Oya tell me how you guys met

We met in school. There was this get-together slash game night that one of my guys asked me to tag along to. It was hosted by this babe and she asked him to please bring along a guy as there were more babes on ground and she needed her few friends to bring guys to even things out. Sha, my guy took me there and I saw this quiet babe with a shy smile. She didn't say a lot on the night, but I was mad attracted to her. We locked eyes a few times so I guess she knew I was feeling her. Long story short, I got her number that night and that was how everything began.

Straight to the talking stage

Straight up. We went out for a cup of ice cream on our first date and I just fell crazier in love with her, especially her soft-spoken nature. I mean that like literally. She had this gentle voice that you had to be pretty attentive to hear. But she had the most heart-melting smile in the world. Omo, I can’t lie, that girl got me good. I was eating out of the palm of her hand in no time. I was gone man, goooone!

No shame in that bro

Yeah. No shame. Until she showed me shege. That girl shamed me. LOL. See, just fear quiet Igbo girls. That’s all I have to say.

LMAO. Wait. How long into the talking stage did you ask her out?

A few weeks. I think 3 or just before a month after we met.

And how long before she exposed you to this shege you speak of?

So our relationship was a little unconventional. We didn’t use to see or speak every day. I mean, she was in a tasking department and so was I but still, weren’t we supposed to find a way? I mean, that was my first relationship but I knew that didn’t feel right. But I didn’t make a fuss about it because to be fair, everything else was nice and I didn’t even want to be a problematic person. We’d see at least once a week and it’d always be nice, especially in the beginning. It was the fact that we never spoke when weren’t together that bothered me the most. And I should have suspected something was off.

I am a little scared to ask you now

Hahaha, It was a little cheating here and there, nothing serious.

Hahahaha

Wait, you’ve not heard the worst part. She was cheating with me not on me.

Eweee!

This babe had a whole boyfriend outside of school and I was the school project. The guy apparently came around a lot so that was why she didn’t use to have time for me often. I was the guy for her ‘off days.’

How did you find out about all these?

One of the people from the party that night randomly told my friend, who then told me. The person didn’t know we were together or anything oh, they just randomly said something about it to my friend during some random conversation and my friend, clearly shook, had to quickly tell me. This was about 7 months into the relationship. Omo I was shook AF.

You didn’t see it coming?

I mean, I should have seen it coming right? I’m sorry but I didn’t. I would not have guessed that I was her sideguy. And she didn’t look like the type to cheat. I guess the fact that the guy was not a student also helped to keep her secret LOL. See, just fear women. Quiet, glass-wearing, igbo women. Just run away. Silent destroyers, those ones.

I'm curious to know how the conversation went when you confronted her

Oh. That never happened.We never had a face-to-face on it

Ahahn. Why not?

I couldn’t hold in the shock, so I sent her a text to ask if she knew any guy by that name [I sent her her boyfriend’s name]. Guess what this babe did?

She denied it?

Nope. Deny wetin? She just said “oh, you found out” and that was the end.

You’re joking

I swear I’m not. That was the last thing. We ended up blocking each other.

Who blocked who first?

Me oh. Na mad girl she be. I blocked her. She found out and blocked me back. Again, fear women. They pretend like men are wicked but yo, women are wickeder.

I hear you loud and clear. But wait, how long ago was this?

6 years.

And you have not dated anyone else since then?

Breakfast na your mate?

Loool.

I’m just taking my time jere. Maybe soon sha.

__________________

There's more Breakfast served here every Tuesday.

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