Are you in a relationship or Situationship?

First and foremost, don't get it mixed up: a situationship is not the same as friends with benefits.

Are you in a relationship or situationship?

Friends with benefits have a specified end goal and terms, but a situationship is a romantic connection with no defined end goal or terms. There is no set time limit or final aim. Despite the fact that there may be numerous unanswered questions on both sides, situationship will always leave you hanging.

In recent years, most people have become enmeshed in situationships, yet they continue to label it as a "relationship".

To decipher whether you’re in a relationship or situationship, here are a few signs you should look out for:

1. Sex! Sex! Sex!

If your partner always wants sex from you and no other form of intimacy, it’s a big sign you’re dating yourself or in a situationship.

If s/he only calls you over when they want to exercise their sexual prowess or experience sexual ecstasy, they don’t love you. You’re a sex toy and your emotions are being manipulated. Your partner should be able to create time for hang outs and dates.

2. Undefined Relationship Goal

It’s vital to define any relationship before getting entangled with anyone emotionally. If you’re in a relationship and your partner always leaves you wondering where you stand in their life, or you ask questions like “what are we” and there’s no convincing reply from them… run!! That’s definitely a situationship.

3. Open/Multiple relationships

Someone who wants commitment and wants to have a future with you, will never ask for an open relationship or have a lot of romantic interests.

4. No Time

If “I’m busy” is their national anthem, then there are a million chances, you’re not in a relationship. Someone who cares or loves you will always make out time to see you. It’s naturally human, to make out time for what you value.

5. Zero Communication

Communication is the bedrock of a healthy and functional relationship. If they don’t call or text you for days, my dear, you’re in a successful situationship.

Situationships leave you confused and disturbed.. More hearts are broken and most times, they leave you psychologically damaged.

How can I pull out from a situationship?

  • Conquer your fears and have an open, heartfelt conversation with your partner. 
  • Ask the question “What are we?”
  • Define your goals and terms
  • If their response isn't satisfactory, Delete and/or block them.
  • Look for another romantic interest.

Situationships and relationships can both be toxic, but in a relationship, you have the right to ask questions and make demands. Situationships on the other hand just leave you with nothing but mere wishes.

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Funmi is a Writer, Thinker and Marketing buff. Like Mark Manson, he hopes to give life advice that doesn't suck.

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