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She left me once; am I right to trust her again?

I want to know if she's just playing me for a fool like she did the first time.

Dear Bukky,

 I met this girl in 100 level. Things were working out as if the future is promising.

I love her so much but I don't know if she’s pretending to love me too.

During second semester 100 Level, our closeness got sour. She started dating multiple guys that are probably in their final year, and whenever I called her, she wouldn't sound cordial, she always sounded like I was bugging her, until I decided to move on.

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When we got to 400 Level, she started showing up and would even sleep in my apartment. I was surprised but I never told her anything.

She started defending herself by telling me she wasn't dating any student then which I didn't ask her.

Also, she told me she loved me very well because I’ve always been there for her all the time.

One night I just put her on a test by making advances for sex, she refused by telling me once she have sex with me she’ll never love me again.

Secondly she’ll start getting irritated by me, now I want to know if she is just playing me for a fool._____________

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Hi reader;

Here is what I think: there isn’t any way to categorically know her true intentions until she states it or makes a mistake which might expose any bad motive for wanting to be with you.

Most people believe that anyone who leaves you once can do it again but then, I am of the opinion that people realise their mistakes and deserve second chances if they genuinely change.

Do you think she deserves a second chance? If no, then you have no business remaining with her. There’s no point being with someone you can't completely or significantly place your trust in.

It is a waste of time and it is unhealthy for you. If you can’t shake the feeling that she’s messing with you, it’ll be difficult to enjoy that relationship as you should.

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If the things you consider as red flags keep popping up in her speech and actions, don’t turn a blind eye to them. Let her go.

If you feel she deserves a second chance though, then you have to be in it 100%. Put your distrust aside and be as committed to the relationship as possible.

No need to be unduly suspicious and no need for test. If you want to be in a relationship with someone, do not let doubts and suspicions overshadow trust.

More trust, man. More trust, or get out of that relationship for good.

Whatever you do, stay away from anything that does not make you happy.

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Cheers._________________

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Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail,  include your location and detail your issues to relationships@pulse.ng.

I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

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