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Relationship Talk "She has a boyfriend but won't let go of me"

I took the courage to tell her that we needed to let go of each other. To my surprise, she started weeping seriously...

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Relationship Talk play

Relationship Talk


Dear Bukky;

I really need an advice concerning me and my best friend.

There is this friend of mine which is a girl we have been together for like 6 months now I really love her to the extent I wish she could be my future wife and have asked her out but the response I always here from her is a no.

There are many situations that have occurred between us. I remember there was this day I became really fed up because the love I had for her kept increasing daily so I took the courage to tell her that we needed to let go of each other.

To my surprise, she started weeping seriously that I couldn't leave her, so I had to console her and we continued being the way we were.

After this situation, our relationship became, in my opinion, more than that of friends because I could now tell from her behaviour that she had some hidden feelings for me.

Every day  I see her, it feels like a burden on my soul because I could not get a girlfriend because of our closeness and moreover, she is someone I’m really indebted to in many ways.

Of recent, I knew about her boyfriend who is already well known by her family.

I am also known by everyone in her family but just as a very close and tight friend. Now I can really see that she is in love with me but still she hasn't given me a yes.

Right now as I am writing this she is doing everything to keep me and I’m feeling all the love and care I could have from a girlfriend but the problem is she hasn't given me a yes.

So I’m really afraid maybe I should let go of her if I couldn't get a yes from her or I should still continue as she wants it.

But there are some things she always does till this day that I really don't understand she always get furious when she sees playing with other girls.

Hi reader,

I am going to try and make the best of this narration of yours.

So you have a friend for whom you have developed feelings. You tell her about this but she repeatedly rejects your advances. She has a boyfriend and this could be why she is saying no to you.

Despite this constant verbal rejection, all her actions point to the fact that she loves you and cares about you. She wants you around so much that you can’t even look at other girls without her getting angry.

Yet she keeps telling you no, but she does for you everything you think a girlfriend should do for her boyfriend.

Apparently, this appears to me like a case of having options. You know, plan A and plan B.

I mean, this babe has a boyfriend and regardless of what she says or does, you can’t deny the fact that that guy is option A and you are option B.

She says no to your advances, right? Frankly, I think that is all you need to hear. That babe is not yours and waiting longer for that ‘yes’ will probably not change that.

She seems to have made her choice, and it appears to me that that choice is not you. You are more less like her side guy, and except you are satisfied with that, I think you need to let go of her as you once tried to.

This time around, let there be a finality to your decision. If she is not ready to be exclusive with you and you only, then she has to let you go. You deserve someone who really treats you as first choice… the only choice.

Hanging around for a ‘yes’ that may never come is an uncertainty you should stop toying with.

That's what I think.

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng,  and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

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