Whether you cautiously tested out the Nigerian dating pool with one foot or chose to dip fully into it and swam any level of its depths, chances are that you would be familiar with one or more of the following: cheating, emotionally stunted folks, old people with the minds of babies, lack of communication, misinformation of real intent, ex issues, entitlement and a host of other messy shenanigans.
Owing to this common knowledge, Twitter user, Abike [@jollz] kickstarts a conversation aimed at understanding how and why things got this bad. Her tweet simply asks: “Why is the Nigerian dating scene really bad?” opening the portal to a whole lot of responses that are a mix of instructive, reflective and pretty telling. Here's a select few of those tweets here.
No emotional growth
"Because you’re dealing with a lot of emotionally stunted people, who are also living in a pretty hostile environment. Everything is just tight." - Denola Gray [@DenolaGray]
"Let's keep money issue to one side first. People are scared to be vulnerable, everyone is forming me sef I be robot. A lot of broken people who need to take time out to heal and be whole. A lot of stupid standards." - Decorous Moi [@decorousmoi]
"I'm mad at the accuracy lol. We carry "sharp guy" mentality into r'ships, so people are generally not honest with you (or themselves!) about their intentions or their desires. Also, you're likely dating someone in an extended childhood because independence is so expensive here." - S-dot [@saratu]
Too many players
"Everyone's playing a game. We're carrying baggage we're not honest about and pursuing agendas we don't communicate, then get offended when the other person won't play along or fall in line. Find a way for people to communicate expectations honestly and that's the money." - Dim Dim [@OladimejiOjo_]
Hampered by gender stereotypes
"Let’s not forget the forced gender norms, and the fact that the depth of the love is measured in pain and suffering." - FemaleRebel [@ThatBarbie__]
"Toxic environment breeds toxic interactions." - Black Excellence [@Tuvie ]
"Most of us come from dysfunctional families/homes. Children from dysfunctional families grow up to be emotionally stunted and often regurgitate that dysfunction in their romantic relationships. Also, country hard." - Joan Clayton [@FizzyThatcher ]
Baggage from the past
Many People are suffering from ptsd from past relationships or from their childhood and don't even realise it...Added to the eternally frustrating living conditions...They end up projecting all their baggage onto their S/O. It's rare to find anyone who's truly at peace with themselves - Little Ben [@Yogibench]