Why a clit-sucking vibrator is the sex toy your relationship needs

Clitoral suction is one of the most effective ways to increase the intensity of clitoral orgasms while still being able to have great penetrative sex with your partner. And you might even find out your partner is multi-orgasmic in the process. No joke. It’s like giving your partner all the joys of cunnilingus while adding in penetrative sex.

“Given that the majority of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, this is almost a guaranteed fun time for both of you,” says .

So, let’s talk clit-sucking vibes and sex because the game is changing, and you should get on board.

A clit-sucking vibrator works by using a combination of air, suction and a little vibration to deliver orgasms on the fly. Companies like and are the leading brands of the moment, making some of the best toys on the market. Some women have even reported having orgasms in less than sixty seconds.

A clit-sucking vibe looks a bit like one of those ear thermometers doctors use on children. It’s shaped like the number 8 with a nozzle on the top. This nozzle goes over the glans clitoris (the part on the outside of the labia). It then suctions onto the clit with variety of optional patterns.

Megwyn White, a sexual wellness expert and resident sexpert for says that these toys “use an incredible wave-like pulse to coax the clitoris into orgasms that are off the charts. Many [clitoris-owners] say that this is unlike any other stimulation than they have ever felt and actually draws out the clitoris to play and partake in deeper levels of trust and surrender while inviting the whole body to open to receiving waves of orgasm.”

Cole says that these toys have both ergonomic designs and are quiet, which are key components in couple’s play. You won’t be distracted by the buzzing of a vibrator, and won’t run the risk of feeling #intimidated by a sex toy. It’s a win for everyone.

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Just like in any sexual situation, you have to start with the warm-up first. Foreplay is so important. You should not, under any circumstances, be putting anything inside a person’s vagina without it being wet and ready (and with lube).

White suggests using some of your partner’s favorite all-natural lube or vagina-friendly massage oil to stimulate her clitoris manually. Stroke gently and consistently. When she’s ready, place the toy over her clitoris. Up the intimacy with deep kissing and eye-contact. This kind of play tends to be intense. Lean into that intensity.

Use the toy on more than just the clitoris. The suction of these toys mean they can be utilized for other erogenous zones as well. “Have you ever tried to stimulate the nipples with it?” Cole suggests.

Encourage her to breathe into her body and relax. This is all about her. “Breath is so important to getting a [person] to fully surrender to sensual pleasure, and to draw out [their] deepest yearnings. Getting a [person] to drop into [their] breath, and ease into the sensual flow of [their] body can take some patience and priming,” White says.

Oral sex-like toys doesn’t mean oral itself is off the table. You can have your cake and eat it too. Literally.

Your mouth is magic, but adding in a toy is a whole other experience. “Oral sex offers an incredible means of activating orgasmic pleasure while also staying in the softer space of arousal to allow a [person] to drop more into [their] sensual embodiment,” White explains.

Have your partner place the toy on their clitoris. Use your tongue to stimulate the rest of her vulva. Lick the labia, gently tease the vaginal opening, and even try penetrating her with your tongue. All of this helps to awaken the nerve endings in her clitoral network, greatly intensifying pleasure. “Hold the hand at the bum with a palm grip and use that hand to create a strong anchor to stay connected to the body and use the pc-muscles to unlock orgasmic energy,” White adds.

You can use your fingers to stimulate her . Place two fingers inside the vagina and hook upward toward the belly button. Rock against this area in a come hither motion. Remember to always communicate with your partner on how they are feeling and what feels good for them.

While using a clit-sucking vibrator may sound a bit on the tricky side, it actually isn’t. Involving the external clitoris in your intercourse action makes sex better. “By activating the clit you naturally amplify the arousal of penetrative sex through engorging the area around the vaginal canal,” White adds.

The key is to find easy ways to keep the toy over the clitoris while enjoying intercourse at the same time. It’s not so different from ...just possibly more orgasmic.

The two easiest positions for clit-sucking toy beginners are missionary and doggy style. Keep it simple to start. You can always explore other positions later. To start, have your partner hold the toy against her clitoris. This way she’ll know if it’s in the right place.

Your body weight can help hold the toy in place during missionary, while in doggy styleyour partner can reach between her legs with the toy. The combined stimulation of clitoris suction and penetration can be downright explosive.

If you decide not to use the toy during intercourse, afterwards is always an excellent option. “After penetrative sex is another way to include the clit-sucking toy, especially if your partner did not orgasm during intercourse,” Cole says.

Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on and at @GigiEngle.