Sex is one of those high risk, high reward situations. It can be incredible, or it can go very wrong—think, penis fractures, gonorrhea, and defective condoms—to name a few.
Here are some mishaps that could turn your hot night into a nightmare. Follow these sex experts’ tips on five things you should never do when you’re in the middle of getting down.
You may think that asking your partner if she’s been tested is enough to protect you from contracting something, but it’s not, says Leah Millheiser, M.D., ob-gyn, clinical assistant professor at Stanford University School of Medicine. “If you’re having sex without a condom, you’re putting yourself at risk,” she says. Yes, you’ve heard this before. But you need to be more careful now than ever—gonorrhea and other STDs are becoming harder to treat, says Dr. Millheiser. “It’s actually becoming drug-resistant.” So, wrap it up.
Not using appropriate lubrication can actually lead to some pretty serious tears on her end and can land your partner in the emergency room, especially when it comes to anal, says Dr. Millheiser. That being said, not all lube is created equal.
“If you’re using a latex condom, do not use an oil-based lube—including natural lubricants like olive or coconut oil—because they break down the latex and the condom becomes ineffective.” If you’re using a condom, you should be using a water or silicone-based lubricant.
If you’re putting fruits or vegetables inside her vagina, pieces can get stuck and break off in there, says Dr. Millheiser. She says she often sees this issue in the emergency room. On a similar note, “If you’re going to put something in the rectum it should be something that’s specifically made for the rectum,” she says. “Those toys usually have a stopper on them so they can’t get lost,” she says.
Focusing on the end game too much can be detrimental for your sexual health because it can create tension, says Stephen Snyder, M.D., a sex therapist in New York City. “Sometimes it’s just not going to happen, which is fine.” If she can’t finish, Dr. Snyder says the best way to address it is by making self-stimulation a mutual activity.
You may want to ask if you can hold her, or make out with her while she gets busy with herself, he says. Otherwise you can enjoy watching her body while she’s giving herself an orgasm, he says. Once you get over the idea that the penis has to be in the vagina when an orgasm occurs, you can have a lot more fun.
And finally, don’t over do it, the experts warn. If you’re too vigorous, it can lead to little tears in her vagina, says Dr. Millheiser. Getting too frisky can also be dangerous for your penis, says Dr. Snyder: “Avoid vigorous thrusting at odd or stressful angles, since a misplaced thrust could lead to inadvertent fracture of the penis.” Instead, take it slow while trying a new position.
The article 5 Things You Should NEVER Do During Sex originally appeared on WomenHealthMag.com.