New York State Wants People to Masturbate to Flatten the Curve

Philip Ellis

March 21, 2020 5:46 PM

New York State has issued a series of health guidelines for people to follow in order to minimize the spread of COVID-19, specifically relating to how they can stay safe while having sex during the pandemic. The number one takeaway? You're best off getting off all by yourself .

NYC Wants You to Masturbate to Flatten the Curve

" You are your safest sex partner," reads the official document . "Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex."

You are your safest sex partner obsessed with NYCs guide to sex during corona pic.twitter.com/xuKRzD0Jhw Chrissy Rutherford (@chrissyford)

With some people less than a week into self-isolation, horniness is already on the rise, with Twitter memes aplenty about the uptake in masturbation while under quarantine. Luckily for these riled-up folk, in these specific circumstances, a little bit of self-lovin' counts as an act of self-care.

Social Distancing, Day 2. Me to my d*ck for the 3rd time today: pic.twitter.com/NueUrwZd52 Ant (@ANTFERNY)

After all, living in a state of heightened emotional stress triggers our base fight-or-flight instincts, and for many, that means a surge in libido. This goes back thousands of years:

I think we can all relate to jerking-off-while-Pompeii-is-burning guy now pic.twitter.com/7e8VkkRY7X help how do i change this (@colbydroscher)

The New York guidelines also include advice for how to minimize risk of transmitting coronavirus while having sex with other people, including limiting your number of partners, and keeping it close to home.

"The next safest partner is someone you live with," the PDF states. "Having close contact including sex with only a small circle of people helps prevent spreading COVID-19. You should avoid close contact including sex with anyone outside your household. If you do have sex with others, have as few partners as possible and avoid group sex."

"If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a break from in-person dates" it continues. "Video dates, sexting or chat rooms may be options for you." (Perhaps unsurprisingly, cam girls are reporting an influx of new patrons in the era of social distancing.)

In addition to its guidance on COVID-19, the NYC Health document also includes reminders to stay proactive in safer sex practices to reduce risk of HIV, other STIs, and unplanned pregnancies.

Philip Ellis