Men Are Sharing the Gross Things They Do When They're Alone

Philip Ellis

July 1, 2019 4:12 PM

Be honest, there are things you do when you're alone that you would never do in front of other people. In a thread on Reddit that has garnered more than 5,000 replies, men are sharing the weird and often downright disgusting things that they do in private.

Men Share the Gross Things They Do in Private

Turns out, a lot of guys like to "scratch and sniff". Some describe it as a comforting little ritual ("everyone likes their own brand"), and others say it's a good way to quickly check that everything smells fine and is therefore hygienic. "I have a theory after watching many dogs," said one commenter. "They all scratch the the inside of their ears and they almost always smell the paw they scratched with. I think it's a health check."

Peeing in the shower was another incredibly common habit among guys. "Peeing in the shower alone is the most logical and practical thing to do," said one guy. "It's literally cleaner to do that than piss into a toilet where water and pee can splash out." Others agreed: "I do it too and sort of assumed everyone did. It's just efficient. The shower water washes it all down."

Plenty of guys also admitted to eating or drinking while on the toilet, especially in the mornings as a time-saving measure. "I drink coffee while I'm sitting on the toilet, its the ultimate dump," one comment read. "My brother pisses and brushes his teeth at the same time in the morning cuz hes lazy af," said another commenter, prompting the counter-argument: "He's efficient."

Another less common habit cited by one commenter was: "Sucking water up my nose and blowing it out in the shower. Learned this trick as a dry waller and while its nasty in the moment, boy does it feel great after." However, this drew a number of health warnings, as there have been cases of people getting really sick or even dying from ingesting unfiltered water, or getting amoeba into their nose which can make their way to the brain. If you want that satisfying feeling, best to buy a sinus rinsing bottle.

Other confessions on the thread included "collecting my naval fluff," "peeing in a bottle at night so I don't have to get out of bed," and "biting my toenails," which is gross but also kind of impressive in terms of sheer flexibility. But now that these guys have held up their hands and admitted to all this stuff, here's hoping they do some thinking and then, you know, stop.

Philip Ellis