Dont be that guy.
If youre giving an erotic massage, you cant do it half-assed. After all, they have their full ass in front of you, so you need to give them a full-assed massage. Below, we have some tips for you, but before we get there keep in mind that there are two parts of erotic massage, and you need to be good at both. First is the actual massage part. No back typing. No squeezing belly fat. The second part is making it erotic. Here were going to help you become a master at both.
1) Set the mood.
This should be a no-brainer, but just in case, Ill make it clear: You have your partner disrobe and lie face-down on a towel or firm bed. Dim the lights. If you dont have a dimmer, then buy some candles. Play some relaxing music it doesnt need to be typical spa music or the sound of the rainforest, but it should be something that you know your partner finds soothing. (My ex liked when I gave her a massage to Rihannas album Anti.) You want to really up your game, get a mini humidifier off of Amazon and pour some essential oils in there.
2) Use erotic oils or lotions.
Dont just grab the big bottle of Lubriderm sitting in the cabinet underneath the sink. Get massage oils, and ones specifically meant to enhance sexual pleasure. Or, if youre down for it, try some CBD massage oils. My partners and I have enjoyed using those too.
3) Start (and continue) slowly.
For at least the first 20 minutes of the erotic massage, it should simply look like any old regular massage. You shouldnt head straight to massage their vagina, penis, or butt. At this point youre helping them relax, so by the time you do get to massaging/playing with their genitals, theyre in a physical and mental space to fully receive you.
Use the heel of your hand to make continuous fluid movements and work the whole length of the muscle, says Susan Findlay, director of the North London School of Sports Massage. Make sure you're taking your time and focusing on each muscle, before moving to the next (at least two minutes per area). If you feel a knot in one place, knead that bad boy out before moving on to another part of their body. (Pro tip: ask them if theyre sore or have any particular pain in a certain part of their body, and focus more of your attention there.)
4) After massaging every muscle, start teasing.
Alright, by now youve gotten their neck, their back, its time to move on to exactly, yes. But jokes aside, you should have given them a full massage at this point. You massaged their back, neck, arms, wrists, fingers, feet, legs, the whole shebang. Now, and only now you can get to the fun stuff. Here, you want to tease them. Get really close to touching their privates without doing. This means instead of going straight for the nipples you massage around the breast. Instead of going straight for the vagina or penis, you massage the crease where the thigh connects to the rest of your body. You massage everywhere around the genitals, getting close to touch them without doing so.
5) Start massaging their naughty bits.
One youve teased them long enough, then and only then do you get to actually touch the sexy party. By this point they should be stewing in sexual tension, so even touching them lightly will be enough to make them moan ecstatically. From there, you again still close. Start with slow circular motions on the clitoris. Or start giving them a light handjob, where youre barely gripping their penis. Once the allotted time has passed you can then do more, whether that means digital penetration, a firmer handjob, or oral.
6) Let them finish
If youve done everything right up until this point, theres a high likelihood that your partner will orgasm. For Gods sake, do not stop right before they have an orgasm. Thats brutal. Do your best to make sure theyre able to finish, at which point, they will be insanely relaxed. Then, and this is not mandatory, but I highly recommend, go ahead and get naked yourself and cuddle with them.