I Tried a Blowjob Machine with Artificial Intelligence, and Now My Hands Have No Purpose

Six months ago, Sloan informed me a third generation of the product would be coming out in autumn. Since then, Ive been patiently waiting for the Autoblow AI to arrive on my doorstep.

Earlier this week, it finally did. Promptly, I ripped the device from its packaging and shoved my dick in it.

Now, I had unrealistically high expectations for the Autoblow AI, since Sloan, a true salesman, made it seem like the AI would revolutionize how we conceptualize sex toys. After all, the did. He promised three major changes to this iteration of the Autoblow.

First and foremost, it has the fancy artificial intelligence feature as its 10th setting. The first nine modes are various types of blowjobs, but its the same mechanical movement from the machine. The 10th mode combines those other nine techniques at random, so you never receive the same blowjob twice.

Sloan used artificial intelligence to analyze 109 hours of oral sex videos, so these settingsor rather, styles of blowjobsdon't simply apply pressure up and down your junk at random. Each mode is a popular technique of blowjob. Then you can choose from 10 speeds depending on if youre more of a fan of the slow blow, or like something a little quicker.

Second, it has a pause button thats easily accessible, so you can, in essence, . In laymans terms, you can hit the pause bottom right before youre about to orgasm. You can do that repeatedly, letting the semen build up, until youre finally ready to release, and when you do, Lord have mercy on that poor, innocent sleeve.

Lastly, it doesn't sound like a wood-chipper. (Alright, those are my words, not his.) But one of the major complaints about the Autoblow 2+ XT was that it was very loud. Sloan listened to his critiques and assured me this ones noise wouldn't be as distracting.

With these three things in mind, I grabbed some water-based lube, plugged the big fella into the wall, laid on my back, and gently inserted myself into the AI. I typically masturbate on my back, so thats why I assumed this position. However, the AI also comes with a diagram illustrating numerous positions you can assume with the AI. (Spoiler: Theyre like every position you can do with a partner.)

I Tried the Autoblow AI and Now My Hand Is Useless BusinessInsider USA Images

I turned on the AI, and wow, it definitely takes a few seconds to get used to. When you think your penis is all the way in, its not. So thrust in deeper, and that is when it starts to feel really good. I slowly turned up the speeds, and even though I know speed doesnt impact pressure, it sure felt like the grip got stronger, which I was into. So I turned the speed up all the way. Ill admit, it does get a little loud at max speed, but its still much quieter than the 2+ XT. Also, what do you expect? Its this big appliance working really quickly; its going to make some noise. Nevertheless, when I turned up the volume of the porn on my laptop, it drowned out the sound of the AI.

After reveling in each mode, I finally made it to the main attraction, aka number 10, aka AI, aka the BJ of the futureand it was fucking amazing.

So there was one mode up until 10 that I really liked, but of course, it was the same repetitive motion. But it was a good motion, one that would make me orgasm rather quickly. Its like if youve ever got a blowjob from someone whos able to deepthroat, apply ample amounts of pressure with their lips, and bob up and down at a rapid speed. You orgasm quickly, and its good, but when youve finished, youre like, Wait, that was too good. Thats because it ends as quickly as it starts without any build.

The AI included that incredible BJ style, along with eight others. This not only prolonged the experience, but also made it feel more authentic because like a real BJ, the AI contains movements that you do love, but also ones that arent really doing anything for you.

Finally, when I was about to ejaculate, I hit the pause button, but I was a little too late, since I was already past the point-of-no-return. So I unpaused it and let the AI do its thing.

Yeah, it felt great.

The only thing I wish was that if you clicked past speed 10, it would take you back to speed 1. That would be helpful for after you ejaculated, when youre feeling extra sensitive, but dont want the sensation to stop immediately. Unfortunately, as it is now, I had to quickly press the down button 9 times, otherwise there was too much stimulation.

Nevertheless, did Sloan deliver on his promises? Yes, he did. Does it feel really good ejaculating into something without moving your arm up and down? Yeah, that was pretty cool. And last but not least, do I recommend the Autoblow AI for the man tired of using his own calloused hands? Oh, absolutely.