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Coming Out Is Hard. SCOTUS Is Making It Harder.

I came out as bisexual to the world just weeks before the United States Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage. At the time I worked at Massachusetts General Hospital in downtown Boston; I remember sitting in my cubicle with tears streaming down my face. Joyous doesnt even begin to explain what I was feeling. A flood of congratulatory texts came insaying how happy they were that I could now marry any person regardless of gender.

Coming Out Is Hard. SCOTUS Is Making It Harder.

While I knew the ruling didnt mean the end of homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia, I did understand the significance of the historic decision. At its most base level, the ruling meant that gay, transgender, and bisexual people deserve equal rights. We deserve love. We deserve everything that straight folks have taken for granted.

Now, LGBTQ+ people are back in the courts, fighting for something, that in my opinion, is far more pivotal and necessary than same-sex marriage. Were fighting for our livelihood.

Three cases are currently in the Supreme Court. The first two involve men who were fired after coming out as gay; the third case involves a transgender woman. She had been working and living as a man, but after informing her employer of her gender identity and intention to continue work as a woman, was promptly fired.

In these cases, plaintiffs are arguing that they are being discriminated against on the basis of their sex, which is banned by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. SCOTUS job, then, is to determine if sexual orientation and gender identity are included under the word sex.

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Now Im very lucky. I write about sex and sexuality for a living, so am free to be out and open about my sexual orientation. My job, in a nutshell, is to be my most bad-ass bisexual self , but that didnt happen by accident. I chose this path in part because I am passionate about LGBTQ and sex issues, but also because I knew it would be an easier path. I dont admit the latter often.

When I was closeted working at a hospital, I felt uncomfortable all the time. Even after I came out as work, I didnt feel as if I could be myself. I felt as if I was being judged. And while I dont think my employer or coworkers were in any way homophobic or biphobic, I think they were uncomfortable with my sexuality. I could sense it.

So I pursued a career where I wouldnt have to worry about appearing too effeminate, where I could proudly say, Yas queen, where I could dress as I please, and where I could be open about my sexuality. Im privileged I was able to find a career I love that allows me to be my true self, well aware that jobs like mine are few and far between.

The thing is, queer people shouldnt be limited to only work in careers that are in some way "queer." We should be allowed to pursue our passions. We should be allowed to be skydiving instructors, like Donald Zarda, whos one of the gay men whose case is currently being heard by SCOTUS.

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Coming out is always hard. I dont care thats 2019. I dont care if you have a liberal family. I dont care if you have all the support in the goddamn world. It is always hard. But its necessary for queer people's overall wellbeing. Closeted people arent happy. It really is that simple. While coming out obviously has its struggles, time and time again have revealed that coming out will improve mental health. Maybe not at first, especially if you experience discrimination from family members, but once you find your LGBTQ+ community, then yes, your life does, in fact, get better.

Being fired for being out changes all that. Employers are asking queer people to pick between paying rent and living as their authentic self. Thats not a choice anyone, regardless of gender or sexual identity, should be forced to make.

No matter how SCOTUS rulesand right now it can go either way, depending on how Trump-appointed Justice Neil Gorsuch votesthe implications of seeing this struggle shouldnt be underestimated.

Frequent reminders of the vulnerability and low social status of one's group can be quite stressful, says Sara Burke , PhD, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Syracuse University. Recent high-profile debates about overt discrimination may serve as such reminders for some, contributing to a sense of trepidation about the ever-present possibility of social rejection and discrimination.

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It's one thing to watch the SCOTUS cases play out. But the actual rulingif it permits firing a person based off of their sexual orientation or gender identitywill be far more damaging.

Perhaps more importantly, ongoing patterns of actual discrimination are a constant drain on the wellbeing of queer communities, and the outcomes of legal battles could either check or accelerate such discrimination, Burke says.

In years past on National Coming Out Day, Ive shared my own journey to accepting who I am (read ), and Ive always encouraged others to come out. While Ive always added the caveat of come out only if its safe to do so, Im fully realizing that its never 100% safe.

Lets say that SCOTUS decides Title VII doesnt protect gay, bi, and trans people. This affects all queers. It's possible that people who had previously decided it was safe to be out at work could become suddenly vulnerable to legally protected discriminatory practices, says , the Director & Sex Therapist at the in New York City.

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This makes it tough for me to advocate for every queer person to come out, especially when I know I was only able to embrace my sexuality publicly because I faced far fewer obstacles than most other queer people.

Nevertheless, I still have to ask: If you can come out, please do. The power of 'coming out' has long been about not only creating a sense of personal freedom for people, but also about increasing the visibility of queer people more broadly, which helps humanize and de-mystify what it means to be LGBTQ+, says , a licensed mental health professional who works largely with LGBTQ+ clients.

I hate that in 2019, visibility is still so crucial, because in my mind, visibility is only the first step to ending discrimination. Its just saying, Look, I exist, or Look, youre not alone. It doesnt go further. It doesnt say 'You should treat us with respect' or 'We deserve equality.' Sadly, we still live in an era where were fighting for our existence and other basic rights, so visibility is as important now as it was 55-years ago when Title VII was passed.

Thats why Im asking you today, on National Coming Out Day, to please come out, if you can. Embrace your queer self. Flaunt it for everyone to see. Yes, there will be challenges. But if you're willing to be visible, we're here to welcome you.

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