The dictionary of Nigerian touristy destinations - A satirical compilation [Pulse Contributor's Opinion]

The very first such dictionary was that by the Persian Nizam-od-Din Obayd-i Zakani, when he wrote lexicon back in the 14th century.

The dictionary of Nigerian touristy destinations - A satirical compilation. [buzznigeria]

For centuries, this humor have travelled well over intervening cultures. Among writers who have joined this “bandwagon” is our very own Nigerian Teju Cole, in his Essays-Known and Strange Things.

But satirical dictionaries came into their own in the post-Victorian era. In 1913, Gustave Flaubert’s, posthumously published a satirical definitions with the title -Dictionary of Received Ideas.

All these, have one thing in common- lazy lines of brilliant wit.

Apparently I have always been entranced by the idea of a satirical dictionary. In this effort I try to recreate my experience with my travel around Nigeria to give punning but true definition. I hope most can relate with this:

AGBOKIM-Home to a flowing magic- can you hear the sound “abrakadabra”?

ARGUNGUN- Something fishy going on.

BAUCHI– just repeat “Bauchi”.

CHAPPAL WADDI-A little more altitude, a little less attitude.

EPE–O-fish-ially a tourist destination.

FARIN RUWA-cry me a River..

GURARA– Water e no get enemy!

IDANRE!-Nature’s romance! The land kisses the Skies and left onlookers speechless.

IKOGOSI - Make up your mind! You’re half way cold half way hot.

JEBBA-Where Mr Mungo finally Parked

JOS-Inactive volcanoes -active turmoils.

KAINJI-Dam it!

KAJURU -Castles & Fairytales!.

LUFASI PARK–a date with nature.

MOUNT PATTI– And the disciples gathered on Mount Patti. Sound biblical right?

MAMBILLA– Tea hot tea! Did I mention Tea?

NGWO– Tall pines, soft Okpa, enchanting waterfalls.

OWU– A wonder in the wilderness.

OBUDU– Ali in the wonderland.

OLUMO– Hiking goats and hiding places.

OSUN GROVES– Disney land of Orishas.

PLATEAU-Two! A table for Two!

RIYOM - Folded rocks laundry.

SHERE -granite rocks, hikers first love.

TARKWA BAY– Two Rastamen trying to sound Jamaican

UDI – Cool breeze. It’s kind of Coal in here.

WIKKI SPRING– Baba Blue!

YANKARI–Hausa say ‘Yankari’, Yoruba say ‘Ire a Kari’.

ZOO-Shhhh a minute silent to their bemoan their current state.

ZUMA - Rockstar-All Eyez on me

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MAYOWA BLADES the Founder of Naidrenalin Adventures, is a Russian trained Aeronautical Engineer and Adventure Travel writer.

When Mayowa is not at work, he is curating group adventure travels around Nigeria, exploring, taking beautiful photos and writing about the numerous unknown tourist sites in Nigeria and beyond. He enjoys good food and group adventure tourism.

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