So, the terrible twos are upon us. And with it comes the most intense tantrums I have ever witnessed.
You consider yourself an adult. You believe you are smart, capable and knowledgeable. Until you have a toddler, that is.
My 20-month old toddler has taught me so much about being a better, much happier person simply by being himself and following his instincts. I am going to share a few of those lessons with you.
1. You can't aim high enough: JB is a climber. There is no surface high enough for him. He always feels the need to attain something within his reach, so he climbs - chairs, tables, toilet seat, windows, crib, and if mommy is stupid enough to leave a 6ft ladder in the living room, he will climb that too. He is not afraid to fall. When he does, he stops, wails then goes on climbing. That is simply the spirit of a winner, in my opinion.
2. Everything is so much better when you are naked: I don't think I have worn clothes for JB in the house in weeks. This is because he goes bonkers as soon as he feels fabric on his skin, even when asleep. He gets panicky and proceeds to take them off. Apparently food tastes better, sleep is more relaxing and playtime seems so much fun when he lets it all hang loose.
3. Do not let people put their hands in your mouth: These seems like a 'duh' point to you, right? But if you have a toddler, you would know they have the shortest temper. So when you refuse to do something they want, all hell breaks loose. For a long time, JB had this habit of running up to me and putting his finger in my mouth for me to kiss or eat, I am not sure. I played along, and let him stick in my mouth. One Sunday afternoon, while watching him from the corner of my eye, I saw him stick his finger in his butt and watch horrifyingly as he brings the finger to me and attempt to get it in my mouth. What the hell has this boy been doing to me?!
4. Your head is so much stronger than you think: So, the terrible twos are upon us. And with it comes the most intense tantrums I have ever witnessed. I am not sure if this is true for all toddlers, but JB loves hitting his head on anything whenever he is pissed. And he hits it hard. He would go from 0 to 100 in a second. 100 meaning he relentlessly hits his head on the ground, wall, or whatever. I have learned to keep from having a mini-heart attack when he does it and instead just pray he is not gradually losing useful brain cells.
5. You do not Always have to eat with plates: So, JB eats with anything but the set of plates I had to cough up good money to buy. Once you serve him, he transfers his food to the ground, on his sister (Yikes!) and even in his potty and proceeds to eat from there. I let him do whatever he wants except turn his baby sister into a food-holder. I could go to jail if I let that happen, right?