What to do when a loved one suffers from depression

In the past, this condition was something that we Nigerians did not acknowledge publicly and if you did have the courage to say something about it, you would get a response like:

“African people don’t suffer from this oyinbo disease”.

“Only white people get depressed”

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Depression is a disorder that affects moods negatively. This disorder could influence how you act, think and even your day-to-day life. Major depression episodes could lead to very consequential actions from the depressed party like self-harming, unprotected sex and even suicide. It is a feeling of sadness.

While you may not be depressed, there maybe someone in your life who is. When a loved one is suffering from this condition, it maybe frustrating and hard to deal with for you. Here’s what to do in such a situation:

1. Look for the signs

Some people cover up their moods well so it maybe difficult to know how they’re feeling but the signs will always be there.

Some of the signs of depression include pessimism, self doubt, fatigue, changes in weight, they stop going out or they excuse themselves from social functions, they abuse alcohol and drugs, they have trouble sleeping, etc.

2. Be there for them

Spend time with them - go to lunch, plan an outdoor activity. If you can’t call or text him/her.

3. Talk

Talk to the affected individual. They maybe finding it to open up about how they feel so you need to make them know you understand what they are going through. Be gentle and just listen. Whatever you do, do not tell them their feelings are not important or they should snap out of it. Don’t ever shame them for how they feel.

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4. Encourage them to get therapy

There are treatments for depression. Encourage this loved one to get help from a professional. Treatments include support groups, psychotherapy and even drugs (antidepressants).

5. Be patient

Depression doesn’t go away in just one day or one therapy session. Be patient and compassionate - dealing with a loved one who’s depressed requires a lot of effort. Sometimes their emotions can be overwhelming especially when you don’t know what to do.

Remember to also take care of yourself (and your emotional health).