So I get a call from this friend of mine (after a very horrible usher experience) about a job. Now this job wasn't the regular white wedding: small money job. This was the big deal mehn! I had to travel to the couple's village to take pictures of their traditional wedding. Usually, I don’t like to travel but this was money mehn. Plans change when money arrives.

* * *

I arrive with my guy, Alu. The thing about Alu is that he has a habit of scratching his crotch. And when he does it only means one thing: trouble! Not small ones but darn ones. You would wonder why I brought him along on this very important trip. You see, trouble or no trouble, Alu is amazing at what he does. I'm a good photographer but beside Alu, I give way. The brother is a don. Alu’s story is a story for another day so let’s not get distracted . Let’s just hope that there’s no crotch scratching on this trip.

Anyway, we arrive at the little village of Osa Ukwu and are shown to our lodgings. It’s about 5:30 pm and it’s too early for us to turn in despite the fact that we are tired. After 5mins, Alu gets starts to scratch his crotch. Shit!!!

I try to ignore him and in retrospect, I should have just said no to all his suggestions and fallen asleep.

‘Guy, make we comot na? This place dey dulling o. We fit see some villa babes now make we kish-kish’, he grins.

‘Alu, abeg na job we come do no be kish-kish’

‘Guy you just dey dull my spirit. You just dey waste ya fine boy. You no know say if this babes see you na oyibo dem go tink say you be.’

‘Mschew,’ I hiss continue putting my things together for the next day hoping and praying that Alu would change his mind and stop scratching. He doesn't!

Finally, I agree when he says we should go for a grand tour of the village. Pretty harmless, right?


We stroll along the village streets; I'm trying not to stray too far from the house but after a while, Alu pauses, still scratching. Jeez, this was getting scary. He starts to walk in the direction of drumming.

‘Guy, where you dey go?’

‘You no hear say them dey drum ni? I dey go check wetin dey happen.’

‘Guy wait’ I called out but Alu was long gone. I said a silent prayer that whatever trouble we will get into would be manageable.

In the distance, we saw girls singing and dancing. They were about ten in number and they were dancing wildly. Now ten girls dancing isn't new but ten half naked ladies??? I inched forward, shaking the bad feeling I felt.

We must have been there for about an hour, I can’t really say. The dance was captivating and just when I thought I had seen enough, Alu started jerking, eyes closed half way, a very scary look. Crazy dude was helping himself all the while. I shook my head in disgust and started to back out when I hit something hard. I raised my face and looked into the eyes of one of the biggest scariest men I had ever seen in my entire life.

‘Seize them’. He screamed to the men. Suddenly they came out of the bushes in their gory glory.

‘Shit’, I thought. This was sooo not going according to plan……

……To Be Continued……

Click ---> <---- for part one.