In an emerging world of creativity,
It has been treated with a somewhat hush-hush-throw-it-in-the-trash kind of way, and it has contributed to a lot of sex shaming and embarrassing phases for a lot of women, regardless of their age and marital status.
As a girl, there are varieties of sermons we’re forced to listen to. Other than the usual Church sermons, there are;
Societal views on Sex
In other words, these people, “the initiators” do their self-pleasing things behind strange curtains and huge doors while others are led to heed their reprimands. Aside from it being religiously declaimed, there are no deep factors buttressing the points that sex should be shameful. However, it is more of a stigma. And in regards to this “stigma”, young adults shy away from exploring their sexuality in the fear of being tagged, ridiculed, or named by their very own loved ones and even their sexual partners
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It is a total debacle and an inherent trait in the African community. Its entirety is correlated to religion, and in an extent, it is an integral part as to why people agree with it. I mean, just because the Bible kicks against sex before marriage, doesn’t mean there should be bad sex after marriage or that sex shouldn’t be enjoyed. A whole lot of teachers preach, and preachers do the opposite, while the rest of us are left in a state of perplexity.
A few hundreds out of a thousand women do not enjoy sex, in fact; they do not climax because they are ignorant of the very core of their sexuality and sex itself. Here are a few revelations and issues that has been on the muted lips of some women in the society.
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Slutty and Wild
Extensively, girls are almost not allowed to be slutty, open to relating with their sexiness nor allowed to spread their wings. It is obviously not a man’s world when it comes to sex, because, women have deeper feelings, massive hormonal rushes and some other psychological delicacies. However, those who’ve taken their time to study deeply on how to enjoy sex and be sexually satisfied in bed, have obviously been named after some .
Yet a lot of men crave good sex, but they don’t accept that a good woman can be wild, slutty and sexy all in one. They’d rather prefer to marry a sexually naïve girl, and cheat with other girls after marriage, than to marry a sexy girl with the same sexual compatibility. This is so because terming sex as a bad behaviour has been like a language spoken since the beginning of Christianity. And I hate to admit the fact that “this bad language” has ruined sex for almost half of the woman population. But it won’t stop, it’ll continue to linger because, as a people, we are very ignorant in the sense that we don’t question what is being said, we just follow suit even in disbelief.
In our society, even before modernisation, our young adults were not allowed to date. After years of gathering facts about this topic, I came to the realisation that our parents mistake dating for premarital sex. In context, our inability to graciously introduce friends of the opposite sex to our family members have contributed to the high rate of divorce, broken marriages, mismatch spouses/partners, etc.
Coherently, a Nigerian parent would rather pick a friend for his/her child from church than allow the child choose personally. The idea is not to pick out what we think is best, but rather to make best what we have. Hence, contributing to a proper development of character, peer groups and acquaintances as the case may be. There is so much segregation and conflict of interest once a parent tries to shadow and manipulate their children’s decisions, instead of guiding them through.
It’s rather healthy for kids to be free to introduce their friends and bring them home, than for the kids to secretly hangout with children that are unknown to them. If a child brings a friend home, (especially an opposite sex), there’s an amount of trust created from that first meeting. In other words, these newly introduced friend develops more respect towards the family. And also, it helps to rule out weird cases arising from cultism, drugs related issues, rape and so on. In the long run, these children won’t even be desperately looking for hook-ups online when they are approaching thirty (30) because the society is waiting for them to tie the knot.
A good woman is allowed to enjoy sex like a pro……
Don’t let the society define nor destroy you…..
Let not peoples’ thoughts cloud your judgements…..
A woman is a bunch of immeasurable blessings……
To be continued from chapter two……..thank you for reading…
Written byJoyous Akhivbareme
Joyous Akhivbareme. Blogger, Writer, Poet, content creator and wig maker. Follow me on Instagram as @jaygirlsquote, and on Facebook www.jaygirlsquote.com , www.jaygirlsquote.com/facebook